My rant
 

One of my jobs as a Beech FO is the stand infront of the prop as the passengers board. At the same time, as if by magic, I get the clearance, weather, and close the cargo door.

Passengers usually greet me and say "hello" or "how are ya?" but more often than not, this isn't the case. For example:
"Who did you 'T-off' to fly this thing?"
"How many more hours you need until you can go fly those little jets?"
"Are you learning how to fly?"
"Are you the flight attendant?"
"Is this safe?"
"Wait.. they still use propeller planes?"
"I'm not getting on that!"
"Holy ******* this thing is small.."
"We should have driven."
"Am I going to get sick?"

and my new favorite, "Did you spin the rubberbands tight enough on the propellers?"

There's a lot more but it hurts to think after droning along all day in my flying machine.
You guys get any of these?

How about "OUCH, MY EARS!"

"Is this like the bus to the real airplane?"

How about "thank you for the nice flight, tell the captain nice landing" after I was the one that flew the leg.

Another FO used this in Massena, NY, a 5,000' strip with usually about 3-4 people getting on and off.

Passenger: "THIS is the plane we are flying in? Its REALLY small!"

F.O.: "Yep, but the funny thing is you thought a 737 was flying into Massena."

"What's that smell?"

"Are you really a pilot?"

If they comment that it's "so small", tell them to rub it and it will get bigger.

Or say "small, you should see my paycheck!"

Where's the bathroom at?

Oh man, i totally forgot about all the snyde bathroom remarks!
"Do I just pee in a bottle or what?"

I like when people give me drink orders on the way into the plane.
They give a quick glance and: "Coke."
Me: "umm.. Good afternoon, welcome"