If she is not needy, and can handle you being gone more than or equal to 5 days at a time (Keep in mind this does not include you being away for training.) You should be fine, but you never know.

 

I know divorce rate is high among pilots, but guess what, its high among Americans. There are many jobs whose schedule is more demanding then ours. We work 15 to 17 days a month, with maybe 9 or 10 nights gone a month right. Which means we're home for 20 or 21 days a month, and even though we're working 17 days, a bunch of those are late shows, or return home early. And when you're home, your HOME! No work to do at home at night (even for recurrent, just study on the road), no unexpected meetings, no crunch time projects that will require 16 hour days for 2 weeks straight. Its just a different way to work, and once you guys get used to it, you might even like it. You'll miss some birthdays, holidays, etc., which of course isn't fun, but the time off that this job will give me is unmatched just about anywhere.

 

What? Where do you work? I want to work only 15-17 days!

 

I sent this thread to my girlfriend. Good stuff in here.

 

If you're only gone 9 or 10 nights a month, you live in domicile and are bidding short trips.

Consider the life of a commuter. Sucks, but they chose that lifestyle. Now consider the life of an unwilling commuter like the DEN and ORD folks at AWAC. Company said "We'll be there FOREVER" and whaddaya know, things changed. They can't afford and aren't willing to move to the east coast for a regional job so they're stuck commuting. Unfortunately, the company doesn't give a damn about those people's situation and makes crappy uncommutable parings and lines, forcing some of these pilots to be gone from their HOME upward of 20 nights a month.

Folks have gotten burned out from this and have bailed for other flying jobs like corporate, charter, fractional or national/major airlines in order to improve their QOL. Some have left aviation altogether; their families and spouses simply couldn't handle it any more and driving airplanes for a living isn't worth losing what actually is important in life. Others feel stuck as senior FOs or junior captains, struggling to hang in there to get that magical 1000 TPIC.

I know folks that have had 30+ year marriages while being airline pilots, but in order to do so you have to be fiercely committed to your spouse, and both have to have the utmost trust in each other.

The fastest way to an aviation divorce is 1. messing around with other women, and 2. COMMUTING.

 

Just fly locals/day-trips.

 

Once again, not every airline offers these...and to take advantage of them (if offered) you have to live in domicile.

 

Try working 35 days on and 35 days off. Very common in the oilfield. This is my cousin's schedule and he rotates out of Saudi. His wife is pregnant and they have a little boy and is very difficult on their marriage.

 

I've been regionals for 8 years now, including one furlough, and have been married for 9. Not a week goes by that I don't contemplate hanging up this career. I have to give my wife credit - after all this time she still stands firmly by me and supports me. But I feel incredibly guilty when I leave her for trips. And with us trying to have kids this year I find myself really questioning if staying at this is the right thing to do.

I commute now, and although we see each other a little less (I have semi senior schedules), things are better because she has a support structure in place of family and friends. When we lived in base it was horrible! She missed home and friends and family so bad she was on the verge of serious depression - which weighed heavily on me on trips. Also, my wife has some serious health problems which made not having a support structure in place while I was away actually frightening.

Anyway, good luck.

 

Statistically your relationship will suffer as in separation with someone you were with pre-pro flying. Most the time it's such a major lifestyle change that they can't handle it. You should probably know, does you GF call you every hour you're not with her? Then that's a bad sign. You're more likely to have stronger relationship with someone who understand what it means to be a pilot, not being 1st year FO also helps. It's all about the benefits. What ever you do don't have any kids unless you're sure they're the one. I can't tell you how many pay child support on $21 per hour, it's sad.