Beloved members of the Colgan Family,


I know some of you are still contemplating casting a vote. With less than a week remaining in the Disharmony Drive, I would like to speak with you one last time.


To those of you who have not voted, those of you who have bravely chosen to give your lives over to the Fates and your loving leaders; I say thank you. You have shown you are not afraid to take whatever we may throw at you and ask for more. Your courage is an inspiration to the entire management team, and so inspired, we are hard at work thinking of new ways to bless you. A few of the ideas being kicked around are:

Increasing per diem five cents per hour
8 guaranteed days off so we can spend more time together
Eliminating all pay credits for training to inspire you to finish faster
Increasing per diem five cents per hour
Eliminating credit for time spent taxiing: we pay you to fly after all
and finally, Increasing per diem five cents per hour


To those of you who might vote but are thinking, "I am only one person with one vote. What difference can I make?" Let me tell you how important your vote actually is: if it were not for the Fabulous Four who chose not to vote last year, you would already be bearing the burdensome yoke of a union!


To those of you who have voted, I say, "Shame On You!" Your father and I are very disappointed!

Your loving, caring, and not at all smothering Colgan mother,
Annie Moose