You might be a regional pilot if...
 

You do six legs and say "Man, that was an easy day."

You've been known to survive on a mixture of sugar and half-and-half, obtained free from the nearby coffee shop. It's like an energy drink, right?

While off-duty, away from the airport, you order a fast-food meal, and instinctively reach for your crew badge to get the employee discount.

You know exactly how many flavors Top Ramen comes in.

Mainline pilots refuse to make eye contact in the terminal.

Mainline FA's refuse to make eye contact in the terminal.

You've heard the phrase "OMG is this our plane? It's so small!" uttered so many times that you just don't notice anymore.

When the Master Warning light illuminates on Day 4 of a 4-day you're much more concerned about missing your commute home than about the possibility of fiery death.

You vow to punch the next mainline captain who complains that he had to sell one of his three boats since the pay package got voted down.

You are on a first-name basis with your local ramp controller, whom you talk to about 10 times a day. Ah, the joy of incessant hub turns.

When people ask who you fly for and you respond with your company name, the nearly-universal response is "Who?"

Another pilot has ever said to you, "Are you the guys who are stealing our flying?"

One hotel breakfast, liberally sampled, lasts you all day.

...or three days, as long as you don't mind living on yogurt, overripe bananas, apples, and bagels that eventually resemble granite.

You spent more time taxiing today than flying.

You can eyeball a rollaboard from 20 feet away and instantly tell whether it'll fit into an RJ overhead bin.

A phone call from Crew Scheduling sets off a PTSD attack.

Secretly you worry that mainline won't be much better.

Secretly you worry that you won't ever get to mainline, anyways.

You spend furious minutes trying to open your hotel room door...only to realize that you're using the key from yesterday's hotel. It's OK, the person inside the room you're trying to get into probably isn't freaking out or anything.

Your wife sues for divorce, but can't complete the filing paperwork since she has trouble remembering your name.

You have considered attaching a green bag tag to yourself, just to get on that last flight home.

...or possibly wearing a 'Comfort Animal' harness and attaching yourself to the nearest pax who looks like she could use one.

You've lasted for days on scavenged snacks from first class and the occasional pizza slice stolen from the MX guys' break room.

Your dog barks when you return home, since he's not sure who the stranger is.

You've made a PA that goes like this: "Well folks, welcome aboard United Exp....errrrr...Delta Connection flight...hmm...256 to....Detro....Milwau....St. Louis!"

And yet, despite all the above, you acknowledge that this typically bizarre, often frustrating, and occasionally exhilarating existence still more satisfying than spending the rest of your days in a grey cubicle.

Stick to being a pilot. You aren't funny.

I found it very humorous. Great list.

It made me chuckle

I bet you're old... And grumpy. :)

Truer words have never been written. What a waste of life.

Turbosina;2056258]You do six legs and say "Man, that was an easy day."

You've been known to survive on a mixture of sugar and half-and-half, obtained free from the nearby coffee shop. It's like an energy drink, right?

While off-duty, away from the airport, you order a fast-food meal, and instinctively reach for your crew badge to get the employee discount.

You know exactly how many flavors Top Ramen comes in.

Mainline pilots refuse to make eye contact in the terminal.

Mainline FA's refuse to make eye contact in the terminal.

You've heard the phrase "OMG is this our plane? It's so small!" uttered so many times that you just don't notice anymore.

When the Master Warning light illuminates on Day 4 of a 4-day you're much more concerned about missing your commute home than about the possibility of fiery death.

You vow to punch the next mainline captain who complains that he had to sell one of his three boats since the pay package got voted down.

You are on a first-name basis with your local ramp controller, whom you talk to about 10 times a day. Ah, the joy of incessant hub turns.

When people ask who you fly for and you respond with your company name, the nearly-universal response is "Who?"

Another pilot has ever said to you, "Are you the guys who are stealing our flying?"

One hotel breakfast, liberally sampled, lasts you all day.

...or three days, as long as you don't mind living on yogurt, overripe bananas, apples, and bagels that eventually resemble granite.

You spent more time taxiing today than flying.

You can eyeball a rollaboard from 20 feet away and instantly tell whether it'll fit into an RJ overhead bin.

A phone call from Crew Scheduling sets off a PTSD attack.

Secretly you worry that mainline won't be much better.

Secretly you worry that you won't ever get to mainline, anyways.

You spend furious minutes trying to open your hotel room door...only to realize that you're using the key from yesterday's hotel. It's OK, the person inside the room you're trying to get into probably isn't freaking out or anything.

Your wife sues for divorce, but can't complete the filing paperwork since she has trouble remembering your name.

You have considered attaching a green bag tag to yourself, just to get on that last flight home.

...or possibly wearing a 'Comfort Animal' harness and attaching yourself to the nearest pax who looks like she could use one.

You've lasted for days on scavenged snacks from first class and the occasional pizza slice stolen from the MX guys' break room.

Your dog barks when you return home, since he's not sure who the stranger is.

You've made a PA that goes like this: "Well folks, welcome aboard United Exp....errrrr...Delta Connection flight...hmm...256 to....Detro....Milwau....St. Louis!"

[QUOTE=And yet, despite all the above, you acknowledge that this typically bizarre, often frustrating, and occasionally exhilarating existence still more satisfying than spending the rest of your days in a grey cubicle.[/QUOTE]


You know, I can't really understand this statement at all. I value personal relationships and stability. Flying is very boring. I'd say 99.9% boredom.

What part gives you so much joy?

Priceless!! I would have to add: You are in a 2 bedroom crash pad with 7 people.

You have to ask your crew their names at least 5 times on a 4 day trip because you fly with so many different crews.

You just enough time to unpack, do laundry, and repack between reserve days.
,

Here are a few opinions on that:

Great Aviation Quotes: The Magic and Wonder of Flight

Actually, he is. Quite funny, in fact.

Loved it. 😁

Dang Debbie... If you find it so tedious, why do you do it?

I agree. It was the worst list I've ever seen and total rubbish.

You're in the wrong line of work and won't make it to one of the more stable and higher paying aviation jobs with that attitude... If you're that bored flying, you're not engaged and likely quite deficient!


To add to the list (and something I actually did):

If your reward for making captain was allowing yourself to get cable tv.

You know, I can't really understand this statement at all. I value personal relationships and stability. Flying is very boring. I'd say 99.9% boredom.

What part gives you so much joy?[/QUOTE]


For me, it's the chem trailing.

I like! You funny!:)

The two best things about being a "regional" pilot?
1. We don't have jetways like mainline, so we get to peoplewatch all day.
2. I get to handfly A LOT. (We got into this because it was fun, right? I've seen too much AP on at 1000' and out comes the newspaper on big airplanes.):eek:

This grumpy old man thinks its great. Need more humor on this site. Thanks for taking the time to post it!

I laughed :)
Don't know where the harshness is coming from...

Well, you obviously never will, then. You either do, or you don't. Enjoy your upcoming grey cubicle, I guess.

For me, having lived through the airline industry for twenty five years now, I can't dispute anything he wrote. Basically a been there, done that experience.

Through all that, I - and many others - have a wanderlust. We want to keep moving. We want to NOT be stuck in the same city or town day in and day out for most of our lives (stuck in a cubicle 5 to 6 days a week for added enjoyment). We LIKE the overall daily challenges of the job (frustrating as they may often be), and look forward to just...getting away. Again, simply due to wanderlust.

I, for one, don't mind spending maybe 2 to 3 nights per week in a hotel room in some city somewhere. During the say, I'll typically get out and explore the area. I oftentimes will find a big gym somewhere and enjoy a few hours working out. Heck, many successful Businessmen/women spend at least as many nights away from home as we do, so I don't consider it all that unusual these days in this world that we live in. Yes, I've had MANY a middle-of-the-night or early morning in which I've woken up completely confused as to exactly where the heck I was, but (again) it basically goes with the territory. Not only that, it gives me a chance to spread out in bed, to NOT be crowded by my dogs (who are my kids), and to just have some alone-time, which is nice.

Personally (and I have many friends in similar circumstances), I've been happily married for 29 years. Therefore, my awesome wife has experienced and lived through the entire 25 year airline career and another couple of years prior as a flight instructor. She has never questioned my career choice. Rather, she has simply embraced it (and the lifestyle) as what I do. It is what it is. We enjoy the ability to have a flexible schedule. We are not tied to the Monday through Friday rat race, with the attendant joy of getting to experience our time off on weekends with the vast majority of people in this country - read CROWDS. We can, and do enjoy weekdays off (no crowds) and typically work weekends - because we can.

Do we spend every night together in bed? No. Most nights? Yes. however, I would say that we possibly appreciate each other's company maybe a little bit more than we might otherwise - simply BECAUSE we aren't together every single night.

Over the years, I typically flew 4 on 3 off trips when I was relatively junior in a bid status, which eventually turned into 3 on 4 off trips, and then "day" trips 3 days per week - home ever single night.

These days, I'm sitting reserve in base, hardly ever flying, home almost all of the time, and occasionally flying a 2 day trip to Hawaii to satisfy my ever-present wanderlust (and my wife comes along sometimes - bonus!).

Besides all that, I still get an overall high satisfaction with flying itself. I flew turboprops down low for years and loved it. Later on, I spent many years flying RJ's all over the country and loved that just as much. Probably more, in fact. These days I fly the larger jets for a Legacy and STILL enjoy the job immensely. 18,000+ hours, and I still enjoy it.

However, like I said, I realize that some (maybe many) don't enjoy the job the way I and many others do. Those people simply don't get it, and never will. It's not in their blood, I guess.

This. So much of this. Most of the people who ask me this end up thinking I work for Verizon.


Nice list, I enjoyed it.

^^^^^ OMG this, times 100. You are 110% spot-on. It's not for everyone, and the sooner some people realize it and just quit trying, the better off they (and others around them) will be. That's not a hit on anyone, just good life advice. If you are working somewhere or at a particular career where you are not happy, do yourself a favor and get out. I don't care what the money is like, leave, now.

Our industry can be so many hours/days/weeks/years on end of boredom and sameness, punctuated by moments of sheer terror. It is the moments of terror that help separate the truly great pilots from the so-so pilots. (For everyone, my wish is that they never have to find out which they are) But in order to find some peace with the life/career we have chosen, we must also be able to find a way to laugh and enjoy it, and make light of the misery that does exist as we fight and swim our way to the top.

As I read some of the bitter, whiny posts here on APC, I can't help but feel that some truly got screwed, and deserve to *****, but some just have no idea what a hard life really is. Life is full of choices. There's almost ALWAYS multiple doors to open and walk thru. Along with that comes the option of being satisfied with our choice, or just walking thru one door, hating it, and doing nothing to make it better. Or perhaps to just be content for a while, but to smile thru the misery.

Some days, I find my glass half full. Other days, it's half empty. But at the end of the day, it's up to me how I look at it, how I move forward with my life, and how I impress those around me. But I love to make people laugh, for laughter is, after all, The Best Medicine (c).

Of course, there are also days when the damn glass is empty, perhaps even cracked. I can sit and complain about that, or I can keep refilling the glass, or I can fix the glass so it holds water... Or I can get a brand new one, and fill it full again. It's all up to me. Someone else may be able to empty the glass for me, but I also have the ability to fill it up again.

Or not.

If your glass is not as full as you'd like it, ask yourself why not, and decide whether you'd rather fight to keep it full, or just go get a pretty new one.

TOOL OF THE DAY AWARD!!!!! Congratulations

Is this an APC thread or a group therapy session!? Sheesh. I thought this was going to be one of those "if your nose gear tire is smaller than a spare for a Hyundai, you might be a regional pilot" things but then it started getting real...

I love these too rare threads where the negativity backfires. Good for you guys.

Thank you! I've spent 18 long soul-destroying years in a cubicle and my apps to the regionals are on the way out this week. I've had to learn to take the negative crap on APC with a grain of salt.

I hope I look at the job the way you do 20 years from now.

Don't worry, despite the whining, most of us do enjoy the job and can't imagine doing anything else. The ones who are the absolute worst are the guys who complain endlessly but lack the skills, drive, intelligence or cajones to do anything about it. But make no mistake: This career does have its high points as well as some very, VERY low points. That said, I'll take flying a plane over toiling at the cubicle farm any day of the week. And twice on weekends and major holidays.

It's not. Maybe someone can re-edit another Hitler losing it clip and run that meme into the ground too.

You spend more time waiting for the hotel van than actually flying.

Edit: And thanks for the laugh.

Thanks for sharing, I chuckled as well. Some of us need to take...the stick...out.

Stick to being a pilot. You are not a critic.

Everyone is a critic. This is the internet.

Hmmm, everyone might be a critic, but NOT everyone has to be a jerk...

If you didn't like it, you didnt need to post. For the ones that felt the need to be negative... why?

I enjoyed it. Thanks for the levity Turbo! These forums needed it!

Some are critics, some are helpful. And some are simply arses.

It's the mood I'm in. I'm not here to make friends.

+1 these got a chuckle out of me

A lot of your trips end up in open time?

Nope. I'm actually very pleasant. Many FOs trade into my trips.

lol, doesn't that mean that there are just as many that want to trade OUT of your trips?

No. We still have conflict bidding good sir. And I'm talking about picking up open trips and having an FO trade into it.

I can't remember the last time I flew with a reserve.