Hers and His Daily Diary - Page 2 - Airline Pilot Central Forums

#11

ClutchCargo , 10-30-2006 08:47 AM

Gets Weekends Off

Try this one:

http://www.buzzle.com/editorials/11-4-2001-5778.asp

#12

favila008 , 10-30-2006 09:16 AM

Gets Weekends Off

Quote:

Originally Posted by FlyerJosh

Here's another male mind vs. female mind example. I copied this off another forum:

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix.

.................................................. ..............................................
The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a
new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person
will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As
homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short
story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send
another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then
add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending
another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and
so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each
time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO
talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be
written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has
been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of his English students:
Rebecca and Gary.

THE STORY:

(first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now
reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he
liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind
off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about
him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out
of the question.

(second paragraph by Gary)

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron
now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about
than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with
whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to
Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit
established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a
bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of
his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt
one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who
had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress
Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read
in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and
bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the
days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read,
no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the
beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to
become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

(Gary)

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands
of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of
its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed
the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had
left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were
determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the
passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth,
carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to
stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion
missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his
top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the
coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
poor, stupid Laurie.

(Rebecca)

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing
partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary)

Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose
attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I
have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of tea???
Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too
many Danielle Steele novels!"

(Rebecca)

@sshole.

(Gary)

b!tch

(Rebecca)

F*CK YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!

(Gary)

Go make some tea, *****.

(TEACHER)

A+ - I really liked this one.

I like Gary's side of the story.

#13

vagabond , 10-30-2006 01:57 PM

Administrator

Wow, Clutch Cargo, a 4 note fart. I like that in a man.

Calcapt, you are unusual enough already, but if you can do the unusual 5 note, no, 6 note fart, you can be more than my friend.

I'll take you up in my 172 one day and I'll show you what a smooth landing is. You can then tell Capt. Alaska; he just might listen to a fellow jock. Good landings always to you my friend. Hope you are having a good visit at home.

#14

Skygirl , 10-30-2006 06:31 PM

Gets Weekends Off

Quote:

Originally Posted by favila008

I like Gary's side of the story.

I think that I used to work with Gary at Skywalker Ranch.