Whenever I plant one I say (in a voice like I just won a prize fight):

"Take that ...EARTH!"

Cheers,
ImTumbleweed

"This is Captain Jim Tressel". Bear with me; I've only been doing this a couple of weeks".

I dare you.....

"I had to bounce over a turtle that was crossing the runway."

1 word. Windshear.



I loved that sign outside of the Springfield airport in the Simpsons:

If you bounce one you may have a wei turtle lad.

"BITE ME"


Short and to the point.

"Next time I won't let the controller (or autopilot) land it." Just say something that will confuse the he11 out of them, so they'll tell their friends and sound really stupid.

Another one, "Was it you that left your cell phone on?"

"We thought you had it!"

When flying the RJ with stairs for the passengers to exit down I'd give the offending passenger a little push on the way down and when they fell in a crumpled heap I'd proclaim: "How was your landing? Not so easy is it?"

Jk

Airfix

"What do you expect from me... it's my first day on the job". "And I took a pay cut from cooking fries at McDonalds for this????"