People pay good money for a scary ride at the amusement park, I threw it in for free.

Passenger deplaning at destination;

Passenger: "Hey you guys go pretty close to that guy on departure"
Me: "Yup, they keep em pretty close on the parallels"
Passenger: "Well that looked closer then you should have been, didn't that set off you TCAS?"
Me: "What the hell is TCAS?"

Back when I was a new hire F/E the Captain pranged one in pretty hard. After we pulled into the gate he handed me his hat and said: Hey Andy, go say bye to the PAX for me!

I usually tell them the auto land has difficulties correcting for millibar variances.

They usually say "oh"

Delegation authority at its best. That wasn't his first rodeo!

I tell them that the airplane just got her Schuler period.

"We are hiring, love to have you aboard".

I always say, you win some and you loose some

Ladies and Gentlemen we realize you have a choice in air travel... obviously you made the wrong one. Steal two beers, pull escape slide, slide down and run away.

Sorry, guess the autopilot went on autostrike.