Alright folks, we always see alot of stuff about carrying on marriages and families as an airline pilot, and the difficulties involved in it. But there is another side to this: dating. How hard is it to meet new people and date them, find someone to fall in love with, etc.??? I alway thought there could be two sides to it: The first is that with being away from home alot, that it'll be somewhat difficult to have a really active social life. On the flip side, airline piloting itself gives you the opportunity to meet lots of people (other pilots, flight attendants, gate agents, passengers, etc.).

As always with these types of threads, please keep cynicism to a minimum. I'm looking for real answers and preferably your real experiences.

Thanks!

Personally I stay away from the inter-office dating. If you date a FA, gate agent, etc and things dont work out then you still have to see them every day and work with them. It could get real awkward real fast. Thats my personal opinion, works for some people. I know I will get a lot of crap for this, but we have damn cool jobs. Most guys approaching girls are desk-jockeys and push paper all day. We fly high, fast, and travel. Who cares if we fly 15000ft in a turboprop and have layovers in podunk-city, its different and more exciting that staring at a computer all day. I havent had any trouble meeting and finding time to date while I have been working here. Sometimes being gone for 3-4 days on a trip and then coming home is nice. Everyone needs some space now and then. OK, end of my Dr. Phil sermon.

Yeah, like the last guy said. Assuming you have been to college and go to the gym, you have a leg up on all the desk-bound dorks and travelling salesmen that the average girl has at her disposal. You probably have more confidence and cool factor, and it can work to your advantage as long as you play it right (ie not like Mav in Top Gun, no ray-ban aviators or other pilot paraphenalia). Try to go more than 20 minutes before she finds out you're a pilot...if she was starting to warm up to you anyway, that should sink the hook

Also avoid the FA's...marry one of those and you're doomed. Once she starts popping out the puppies do you think she's going to want to go to work? Fat chance of that, now you're supporting a family on regional pay There are plenty of professional women out there who make way more than you do, but can't find the right guy...those kind of women really dig pilots, navy seals, etc. Plus they won't want to quit working when they have a kid and sit home watching Oprah. You just need enough self-confidence to not be bothered by a woman who makes more than you.

If you can't find any professional women in your town, try bidding long overnights in the bay area

It's true that there seems to be a shortage of good "straight" single men here in the Bay Area, and there certainly are plenty of professional women around here. The thing is though, that most of us professional women here in the Bay Area tend to work a fair amount and you would also have to be ok with that. I work at least 50 hours a week and travel a fair amount. The last guy I dated was a nice guy but he couldn't seem to deal with that. The bright side of a woman who works a lot, is it gives you plenty of time to play golf or do whatever on your days off. I'm sure that there are more than a few women around here who wouldn't mind coming home to a nice pilot guy after a long day.

Speaking of work, time to start my 10-12 hour day.

That's the first time I've heard RJ pilots equated with Navy Seals! Dream on rickair777, you'll NEVER be close to a Seal in the coolness factor. I'm sure you meant that as a joke. On the other hand, if you can find a girl stupid enough to believe it.....

Conversly, there are alot of women who can't deal with the fact that airline pilots are gone alot. Even the women who are the "strong, independent, career type who just want companionship". Although 50 hours a week is alot, many airline pilots can be gone for 75-80 hrs a week, sometimes more. Now toss in the high possibility that alot of us cannot get weekends off.

On average I'll spend atleast 3000 hours a year away from home. That would be equal to a 12 hour day, 5 days a week for somebody with a "normal" m-f job. If someone works 50 hrs a week at a m-f job that comes out to about 2600 hrs. That's on the high side for the m-f job and not subtracting out vacations or holidays off.

Also, our job is not as flexible as many think. I have yet to hear of an airline that has "flex" time, or whatever you wish to call it. If my 10 hour day turned into a 16 hour day, I can't just take 6 hours off next week or whenever I choose. This one is my favorite, you are dating someone and they ask, "can't you just take the day off?" Sure, in the middle of a 4 day trip, no problem. Or, "can't you get somebody else to work for you?". Again, sure. Let me get some guy who has just been away from his home and family for 4 or 5 days and ask him to spend even more time away. He'll jump at the chance.

I really don't think there is a problem with dating someone you work with as long as you are careful about it. For example, I started dating a mechanic at the commuter I worked for. We completely avoided the work gossip because we were not secretive about it like a lot of people dating at work were. From the beginning, there were no games and/or bull$hit. It just felt right. It's gotta feel right from the heart not between your legs. We were both in the same place in our lives (ie. looking for a long term relationship). He has since started flying and is now at another regional. We have been together over 4 years and are engaged. I could not be happier. My point is, dating someone from work can work, you just can't be stupid about it (ie. screwing a psycho FA on an overnight, dating multiple people, etc.).

If the average divorce rate is 50% for average healthy relationships, imagine what it is for pilots. Most I've talked to are divorced. The only way a pilot marriage can work is if the spouse has had family members(father/mother) who were pilots/fAs, meaning they already are accustomed to that life. Unless you have an obligation to your parents to raise your own family, enjoy the single life where you can date anyone with no commitment.

Regarding that "50% of all relationships end in divorce" thing. I've never seen how they got the statistics on that one, but I think that is all marriages. Which means that a lot of people get married and divorced several times, thus skewing the stattistic of "what are the odds that YOUR marriage will last?"...

As for dating, the distance thing hurts, but I've found that they're willing to put up with it for someone that is fun. The nature of our job gives us enough time to do other things and still be "interesting" to a girl (or guy), as opposed to someone that hangs out in a cubicle all day and has the same people to their left and right all the time.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Flight Instructing tought me the truth to that...

It all depends on the type of person you are, but in terms of who can deal with their spouce being away alot, I have heard FA's and Pilots go well together because they just simply understand each other more. This is different with everyone, but we all know many pilot's and FA's who are married...or who were married. It terms of the dating though, what's this about you will have to see the person everyday? I mean when you work with an FA what are the chances you will see them again everyday. Or better yet a gate agent, what are the chances you will see them everyday? Also, us pilot's may not be navy seals, but my experience has been as long as you are not arrogant, all I do is after a while let them know I fly, If i like them ask if they wanna fly, take em' up, and deal closed... And in conclusion, has anyone ever heard the of VOR rule? Is it one girl per VOR, within a certain radius?? haha