'Twas the night before a Spirit Christmas
 

Twas the night before Christmas, when all thro' the crew room
 not a F/O was stirring, not even a new hire;

There lanyards were hung by the neck with care,
 In hopes that a contract would soon would be here;

The Captains were nestled all snug in their quite room,
While visions of TA's danced in their heads


And Flight Attendants in her 'neck-scarf, and I in my cool pilots hat,
Had just settled our brains for a long 4 hour sit nap—*
When out on the employee parking lot there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the lazyboy to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like an Airbus,
tore open the shutters, and threw up the escape rope.
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow,
Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below;

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, 
but a miniature Cadillac, and two tiny helpers. With a little old driver, so devious and a snob,
 I knew in a moment it must be Bob.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
 and he whistled, and shouted, and call'd them by name:

"On! Bendo, on! and Jyri, on!
" To the top of the terminal! To the top of the wall!
"Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!" 
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
 when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;

So up to the terminal the coursers they flew,
With the Cadillac full of signing bonus checks-and Fornaro's too:
and then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little foot.
 As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the elevator Fornaro came with a bound:
He was dress'd all yellow and black, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnish'd with oil and Skydrol;

A bundle of cash was flung on his back,
 and he look'd like a peddler just opening his pack:
His eyes-how they twinkled! His dimples: how merry,
 His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry;

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, 
and the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face, and a little round belly
 that shook when he laugh'd, like a bowl full of jelly:
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
 and I laugh'd when I saw him in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
 soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to the NC,
 and fill'd all the pilots stockings; then turn'd with a jerk,
 and laying his finger aside of his nose
And giving a nod, up the elevator he rose.
 He sprung to his Cadillac, to his team gave a whistle and away they went, and resigned like jumping off the sinking of a ship. But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight

Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

So,........what happens next?

Choppy, and didn't rhyme in many spots. I would say do it over, but I lost 2 minutes of my life just reading it, AND it wasn't very comical. You are awarded no points sir, and may God have mercy on your soul!

Can I get at least 1 point for effort?

I'll give you a high hive for effort..

Lol. I'll take it.

Don’t spend that high five all in one place.

Finish the last verse about the new hire who failed a training check ride and almost busted out; and instead of staying in the books for IOE and being new to the line, decides to write songs for the forums.

I’m guessing you don’t even have a grasp on the reserve rules but are a master at rhyming “merry” and “cherry”

Baby Jesus, help us all

Brutal, but needed to be said.
If this guy actually makes it to the line, I hope he has the sense and humility to not lecture captains with employee numbers starting with 5 about the shortcomings of the company. They probably already know.

This guy? You mean me? You didn't find my post funny huh?

No, not funny.

And when it comes from a guy who clearly has an issue of focusing, it becomes a indication of just how the hiring has become at Spirit.

I'm still not convinced this isnt just an elaborate troll attempt. I keep asking "can someone really be this detached from reality?" Reading your past posts, can this be a real person?

One thing I know, if we ever fly together, I recognize you before the first leg is over. This kind of personality transcends the anonymity of the forums.

I’ll step up to the roulette wheel and place my bets as follows:

24 years old
Dark hair, pale skin
5’4”
140lbs
Embry-Riddle type schooling
RC planes on days off
Aviator Sunglasses
Bose Headset
Flew for GoJet

I know it’s specific buts the payout would be huge.

Edit* has an obnoxious smile and loves to tell stories

Nailed it!

*Loves airline pilot memes.

Too bad we won't get the chance to. I didn't make it past IOE. But at least I can get my job back at my regional because of our soft landing agreement. But at least we have a flow to American. I mean it practically was like being at Ameican we wore the same shirts as them and our paycheck came from them too.

Buster nails it.

You are the reason I, and all United Airlines pilots, will never allow a true flow. Congrats Spirit pilots that you got rid of him/her and good luck AA pilots. :(

Flow or not they still will be hired.

I think it’s called a bounced landing program.

I'm 25. And I went to the Riddle campus in Arizona.

...and let me guess when your not at work you love to debate people on APC. And you walk around your house with a police uniform on because you love to patrol the forums.

Now that we are hitting some smaller cities, I can’t wait to be deadheaded regional airlines. At least during the lost decade there was at least some expectation the rj captain had a good amount of experience and was mature enough to be in charge of lives. These days, maybe, maybe not.

Should have studied more, listened more, and spent less time on the forums. Maybe this info will serve you well as you reflect on your training failure.

The good news is whoever the check airman was who ended this at the IOE level seems to be doing a great job and not letting the diminished hiring standards necessarily mean a diminished proficiency standard.

Halon, be gone from these forums and relearn your RJ flows or risk suffering the same fate once again.

Is this real life?

WOW........