The idea is to not end up in smoking hole by use of thoughtful discussions of what probably happened. I am the last person who wants to enjoy the ill-fortune of another. I have been witness to deadly accidents of my friends- I lost a close skydiver friend last year for one, and I know that poor speculation and speculation placing the blame where it should not placed is offensive. We have to avoid doing that. But I agree with Mike it is natural to explore mishaps and aviation forums are a valid place to do it. The family does not have to be here. Perhaps they would want to be here if the discussion was thoughtful and sincere enough. After all, they are not getting an NTSB report any sooner than the rest of us.