Superconductor
I find it hard to believe you are 42. I'm sorry you are where you are and I hope time brings along some new opportunities.
A long look in the mirror will hurt but in the end you will be better off.
As a side note, I cannot pretend to understand constitutional law in how it pertains to bankruptcy proceedings. I can offer no sensible legal debate, I can say your choices and actions have brought you are today same as me.