Probably better go serve in the military before you make blanket statements like that.

Initial military training (Boot camp and OCS) has to break some bad habits, make some new ones, and most importantly test whether someone can hold up as a team member in an extremely high-pressure situation. Some folks have personality mechanisms or even latent mental illness that needs to be discovered now, not later in combat. This requires taking people far out of their comfort zone. There are specific rules as to how you go about this and specific reasons for doing everything that is done, and instructors who deviate end up booted or in jail.

Subsequent training (flight school, artillery school, infantry, whatever) may be technically or physically challenging but should not involve "fear, intimidation, or ridicule". If it does, somebody needs to be fired.

IMO we would have better civilian airline pilots if they all had to get filtered through some sort of "boot camp" system. Cops have to do it...

Don't believe all that BS that comes out of hollywood