I am not the author, but it's fun to poke fun...

By the lake, in the basement of a tower, three men sit in a room awaiting their HR "Retirement" termination hearings. The first asks the second why he has been brought in, and he says, "Because I criticized Pete McDonald." The first man responds, "But I am here because I spoke out in favor of Pete McDonald!" They turn to the third man who has been sitting quietly in the back, and ask him why he is in there too. He responds, "I'm Pete McDonald."

As a humble co-worker at new friendly soviet style airline from texas, I express feeling of great pride and confusion. Our leaders of immeasurable prominence are surely superior and we can never be skilled like them! But why do they send us contradictory messages? Why do they always speak of a glorious future, while ignoring present conditions. Our great success is always over the horizon, "Someday there will be....."

Please do not misunderstand, I officially and loudly expel first rate agreement with concept of central planning in my desire to avoid forced re-education visits to the tower.

Acknowledgment as comrade co-worker I must do as told by tower people and not allowed own thoughts. All communication to tower people will only embrace the greatness of our leaders and their renowned plans. Fly to win! Fly to win! Fly to win!

Those without such understanding must have obedience enforced through working together guidelines and KGB HR department, so I desire to obtain needed understanding of our great Go-Forward plan before such fate overtakes me.

So please comrade co-worker, I beg you. Can you enlighten me before I am marked for re-education and my family forced into hard labor?

1) What is significance of central planning system that sends out three separate paystubs instead of one like before, but then inserts extra sheet of paper in each envelope extolling the illustriousness of opting out of paper pay stubs? Surely these wasteful pages must contain a secret message of our plan to conquer the skies, but I cannot find it. I have used lemon juice, flame, ammonia and raccoon urine but cannot see the message comrade Howard must have put on those otherwise redundant pages.



I see that "green" has replaced "red" as the new code word for Marxist domination. Brilliant!!

2) Recently, Tower People sent message on Crew Coercion System (CCS) extolling eminence of using single, convenient login of new system:



Maybe I drink radiator fluid instead of vodka? With small pilot brain, I see TWO passwords required instead of ONE like old system!




Please help me. I must have single, convenient login!

I fear this is diabolical test of blind and silent obedience in the face of absurdity. How can one not see the idiotic paranoia of central planning without some sort of urge to speak out?

Alas, with this special screen I am afraid my only destiny is re-education in the tower. As simpleton co-worker I cannot possibly remember so many mixtures of letters and numbers and will surely raise the red flag of suspicion upon myself when I repeatedly fail to login correctly. If I am somehow able to learn password, then I am afraid I cannot forget it and nine others when a new password is required. Under this new system, I see that my life was already better yesterday than it will be tomorrow.
3) Old aeroflot pilot once said:

• Don't think.
• If you think, then don't speak.
• If you think and speak, then don't write.
• If you think, speak and write, then don't sign.
• If you think, speak, write and sign, then don't be surprised.

Makes sense.
Once again I strongly affirm the genius of our Go-Forward plan and undisputable prowess of our leaders.

Fly To Win! Fly To Win! Fly To Win!