...and now for someting on the lighter side
12-20-2013 | 08:53 AM
#1
Thread Starter
Gets Weekends Off
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,209
Likes: 6
From: 777
...and now for someting on the lighter side
I am not the author, but it's fun to poke fun...
By the lake, in the basement of a tower, three men sit in a room awaiting their HR "Retirement" termination hearings. The first asks the second why he has been brought in, and he says, "Because I criticized Pete McDonald." The first man responds, "But I am here because I spoke out in favor of Pete McDonald!" They turn to the third man who has been sitting quietly in the back, and ask him why he is in there too. He responds, "I'm Pete McDonald."
As a humble co-worker at new friendly soviet style airline from texas, I express feeling of great pride and confusion. Our leaders of immeasurable prominence are surely superior and we can never be skilled like them! But why do they send us contradictory messages? Why do they always speak of a glorious future, while ignoring present conditions. Our great success is always over the horizon, "Someday there will be....."
Please do not misunderstand, I officially and loudly expel first rate agreement with concept of central planning in my desire to avoid forced re-education visits to the tower.
Acknowledgment as comrade co-worker I must do as told by tower people and not allowed own thoughts. All communication to tower people will only embrace the greatness of our leaders and their renowned plans. Fly to win! Fly to win! Fly to win!
Those without such understanding must have obedience enforced through working together guidelines and KGB HR department, so I desire to obtain needed understanding of our great Go-Forward plan before such fate overtakes me.
So please comrade co-worker, I beg you. Can you enlighten me before I am marked for re-education and my family forced into hard labor?
1) What is significance of central planning system that sends out three separate paystubs instead of one like before, but then inserts extra sheet of paper in each envelope extolling the illustriousness of opting out of paper pay stubs? Surely these wasteful pages must contain a secret message of our plan to conquer the skies, but I cannot find it. I have used lemon juice, flame, ammonia and raccoon urine but cannot see the message comrade Howard must have put on those otherwise redundant pages.
I see that "green" has replaced "red" as the new code word for Marxist domination. Brilliant!!
2) Recently, Tower People sent message on Crew Coercion System (CCS) extolling eminence of using single, convenient login of new system:
Maybe I drink radiator fluid instead of vodka? With small pilot brain, I see TWO passwords required instead of ONE like old system!
Please help me. I must have single, convenient login!
I fear this is diabolical test of blind and silent obedience in the face of absurdity. How can one not see the idiotic paranoia of central planning without some sort of urge to speak out?
Alas, with this special screen I am afraid my only destiny is re-education in the tower. As simpleton co-worker I cannot possibly remember so many mixtures of letters and numbers and will surely raise the red flag of suspicion upon myself when I repeatedly fail to login correctly. If I am somehow able to learn password, then I am afraid I cannot forget it and nine others when a new password is required. Under this new system, I see that my life was already better yesterday than it will be tomorrow.
3) Old aeroflot pilot once said:
Once again I strongly affirm the genius of our Go-Forward plan and undisputable prowess of our leaders.
Fly To Win! Fly To Win! Fly To Win!
By the lake, in the basement of a tower, three men sit in a room awaiting their HR "Retirement" termination hearings. The first asks the second why he has been brought in, and he says, "Because I criticized Pete McDonald." The first man responds, "But I am here because I spoke out in favor of Pete McDonald!" They turn to the third man who has been sitting quietly in the back, and ask him why he is in there too. He responds, "I'm Pete McDonald."
As a humble co-worker at new friendly soviet style airline from texas, I express feeling of great pride and confusion. Our leaders of immeasurable prominence are surely superior and we can never be skilled like them! But why do they send us contradictory messages? Why do they always speak of a glorious future, while ignoring present conditions. Our great success is always over the horizon, "Someday there will be....."
Please do not misunderstand, I officially and loudly expel first rate agreement with concept of central planning in my desire to avoid forced re-education visits to the tower.
Acknowledgment as comrade co-worker I must do as told by tower people and not allowed own thoughts. All communication to tower people will only embrace the greatness of our leaders and their renowned plans. Fly to win! Fly to win! Fly to win!
Those without such understanding must have obedience enforced through working together guidelines and KGB HR department, so I desire to obtain needed understanding of our great Go-Forward plan before such fate overtakes me.
So please comrade co-worker, I beg you. Can you enlighten me before I am marked for re-education and my family forced into hard labor?
1) What is significance of central planning system that sends out three separate paystubs instead of one like before, but then inserts extra sheet of paper in each envelope extolling the illustriousness of opting out of paper pay stubs? Surely these wasteful pages must contain a secret message of our plan to conquer the skies, but I cannot find it. I have used lemon juice, flame, ammonia and raccoon urine but cannot see the message comrade Howard must have put on those otherwise redundant pages.
I see that "green" has replaced "red" as the new code word for Marxist domination. Brilliant!!
2) Recently, Tower People sent message on Crew Coercion System (CCS) extolling eminence of using single, convenient login of new system:
Maybe I drink radiator fluid instead of vodka? With small pilot brain, I see TWO passwords required instead of ONE like old system!
Please help me. I must have single, convenient login!
I fear this is diabolical test of blind and silent obedience in the face of absurdity. How can one not see the idiotic paranoia of central planning without some sort of urge to speak out?
Alas, with this special screen I am afraid my only destiny is re-education in the tower. As simpleton co-worker I cannot possibly remember so many mixtures of letters and numbers and will surely raise the red flag of suspicion upon myself when I repeatedly fail to login correctly. If I am somehow able to learn password, then I am afraid I cannot forget it and nine others when a new password is required. Under this new system, I see that my life was already better yesterday than it will be tomorrow.
3) Old aeroflot pilot once said:
- Don't think.
- If you think, then don't speak.
- If you think and speak, then don't write.
- If you think, speak and write, then don't sign.
- If you think, speak, write and sign, then don't be surprised.
Once again I strongly affirm the genius of our Go-Forward plan and undisputable prowess of our leaders.
Fly To Win! Fly To Win! Fly To Win!
12-20-2013 | 09:13 AM
#2
Gets Weekends Off
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 5,738
Likes: 5
From: Sleeping in the black swan’s nest.
Smieseks ruling of thy IT from the tower.
And the lord of the tower spoke with great vehemence and declared that thy second password shall have 8 not 9 and not 7 but 8 characters no less than and no more shall be it thy number of characters. And in thy characters shall be no special characters such as ( @ $ % # & * ^ !)or any such blasphemy such as thus.
Any co worker who shall try to impose or otherwise invoke the use of more than 8 characters on thy second holy password or shall attempt the use of special characters shall be denied entry unto thy kingdom CCS.
And the coworkers sang and rejoiced at thy dictum from thy tower as thee simple peasants coworkers embraced the wisdom that is thy Smiesk and thy IT department.
Amen.
And the lord of the tower spoke with great vehemence and declared that thy second password shall have 8 not 9 and not 7 but 8 characters no less than and no more shall be it thy number of characters. And in thy characters shall be no special characters such as ( @ $ % # & * ^ !)or any such blasphemy such as thus.
Any co worker who shall try to impose or otherwise invoke the use of more than 8 characters on thy second holy password or shall attempt the use of special characters shall be denied entry unto thy kingdom CCS.
And the coworkers sang and rejoiced at thy dictum from thy tower as thee simple peasants coworkers embraced the wisdom that is thy Smiesk and thy IT department.
Amen.
12-20-2013 | 09:41 AM
#3
Gets Weekends Off
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 447
Likes: 0
From: non reclining seat
so we once had a single password login. I am probably wrong about this but there were several instances of F/As giving passwords out to trade trips job share whatever. Several had their trips changed all up and made a stink about it. Also something about family logging in as well for travel and what not.
Not long after we then had 2 passwords. Not that they couldn't just give out that one as well.
So now one for ccs and company password, then one for company iPad. ALL change at different intervals with different rules and I can never remember. don't forget the one for uniform login, schwab plan, company email, and I forgetting any others associated to the company? It's just an endless list for me to forget.
Not long after we then had 2 passwords. Not that they couldn't just give out that one as well.
So now one for ccs and company password, then one for company iPad. ALL change at different intervals with different rules and I can never remember. don't forget the one for uniform login, schwab plan, company email, and I forgetting any others associated to the company? It's just an endless list for me to forget.
12-20-2013 | 09:45 AM
#4
Gets Weekends Off
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 292
Likes: 0
From: A319/20/21 FO
Alas, with this special screen I am afraid my only destiny is re-education in the tower. As simpleton co-worker I cannot possibly remember so many mixtures of letters and numbers and will surely raise the red flag of suspicion upon myself when I repeatedly fail to login correctly. If I am somehow able to learn password, then I am afraid I cannot forget it and nine others when a new password is required. Under this new system, I see that my life was already better yesterday than it will be tomorrow.
juniormanme1
In 90 days, it becomes ...
juniormanme2
and so on. If you start with 01, you can get 99 passwords before you duplicate (or need a new root word) which is convenient ... since one service I use requires that you not use any of your previous 24(!) passwords.
The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain ...
12-20-2013 | 02:01 PM
#5
Don't say Guppy
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,926
Likes: 0
From: Guppy driver
A spook told me to make up a password file like this that I keep on my computer and update it every time I change a password. Very simple, you only have to memorize 2 things, forever. A standard password and username.
Username Stupid57
Password Pilot68
If you have a citibank username, you only write down:
username
citi password
If the username or password require a special character, or more numbers, something like
citipilot681#
you would write down
citi password +1 #.
Works great. I have used it for 3 years and have a 4 page file on my smartphone and laptop, and backup up in the cloud.
Username Stupid57
Password Pilot68
If you have a citibank username, you only write down:
username
citi password
If the username or password require a special character, or more numbers, something like
citipilot681#
you would write down
citi password +1 #.
Works great. I have used it for 3 years and have a 4 page file on my smartphone and laptop, and backup up in the cloud.
