Staying on topic...

ATP
10K+ hours
2500 PIC
3 Jet types (one SIC only
4 yrs at Regional
8 yrs at 121 Major

At the "dark side" since 2006; GS-14 pay and get to fly sims a lot

Will not even consider going back unless:
-Starting pay = 6 figures
-1% Pension + 20% Company Match on 401K
AND...
-Flight Deck has direct access to own Lavatory