I empathize. I'm divorced to a woman who was unwilling to flex to the exigencies of my military flying career. Now I'm married to a woman who supports these choices and doesn't resent the geographical choices and relative vocational subordinate role she has to temporarily accept in order to make this joint life project work for us.

Good bad or indifferent, it is what it is. You have a choice to make, do you want to fly professionally for a living or do you want to be a kept man? No right or wrong answer, but it's a conversation you're gonna have to have with the frau, otherwise it's gonna erode the relationship irreparably. Two Chiefs make a bad tribe brother, color me sexist. My experience has been that, jokes and daydreams of flying TBM 700s on the wife's income aside, most men don't do well as kept men. We're always looking to cut our teeth on something, and we tend to end up locking eyes on women who encourage/support us to do what we like to do. YMMV of course.

I'd still look at the mil side as a quicker conduit to a legacy job, I'm not particularly swayed by the idea that a stint at the regionals as an FO is gonna make an appreciable dent in your quest to mainline. I'm a believer that cursory mil TPIC and solid mil connections is a quicker shot to a mainline job, with better QOL to boot. I'd trough on the mil side, and if the current unit is a dry pot, I'd look for another one.