nothing like running across Ohare with your roller bag in uniform, looking like a complete idiot, red faced and sweating.. from G-21, or worse L something, all the way to C-99 million for the 2nd or 3rd attempt of the day.. Then you see 8 other red faced sweaty pilots ALREADY at the counter. A quick look at the board also shows a crapload of stby's.. "SonnofaaaB.." THEN, you lock eyes with one of the pilot competition, preferably the weakest, slowest of the bunch (you must quickly do a uniform scan of your competition to determine if they are a serious jumpseat priority threat or not).. and now it's a showdown.. (pilot smart phones quickly searching for next available flight/gate numbers) then, another quick glance at the competition.. Who is gonna run for it?? To get the advantage on the next flight.. You hear that old western showdown music in your head.. "doodiiiiiidooooooo, bow boooow bow.." and you decide to bolt.. back from C-99 million, you bust out a 9000 yard dash to gate F gazillion for the next flight.. you feel great when you get there, you outsmarted all the other chumps trying to commute home that had NO chance in hell on the last flight.. Now, you're First in line waiting to check in, other pilots from the last gate that failed to get on start to show up eventually, you snicker to yourself "suckers".. you plop your credentials on the desk with a big cheesy smile to the gate agent.. then hear the dreaded "sorry Mr pilot, we are weight restricted today and we are asking for volunteers" *%#$@#%@&#$*!!!! Next!

Or my personal favorite.. you are first in line for the jumpseat, no competition, no line, open seats available, no standbys.. but no freakin agent to be found, so you can't check in.. hmmm, nobody is around, you scan the terminal for hostiles (other known jumpseaters).. and determine it's an acceptable risk to go pee. You come back less than 1 minute later to find a line of 35 people including 6 pilots. Gdmmmmmmmmmit! How is that EVEN POSSIBLE???