I lived in base and commuted cross country to a reserve job flying heavies, but I knew it was temporary until I transferred units. While for all intents and purposes I've always been local to both my mil and civilian jobs, I've been in both a fighter and heavy unit and have seen it done every way possible. My take... living in base rocks. I never sweated making it to or from either of my jobs (I retired from the mil a decade ago), upgraded sooner and spent more time with my family than a commuter in similar circumstances. If I'm on an airplane I either want to be getting paid or going on vacation. Having said that, there are obviously a lot of reasons you have to commute... spouse's job, live near family, don't want to uproot the kids, are already in a reserve unit at your AD base, etc. I always felt commuting to the military would be less stressful to me because if I don't make it, the reserves are usually a lot more understanding than the airline. Also, the mil career will probably come to an end long before the civilian career, so you're eventually stuck commuting until you retire or move. Finally, remember the reserve motto: "I quit once, I can quit again."

Some general considerations. Heavy units can often block their time together for a stretch, so you might be better able to string reserve days together and commute to the military. Eight days a month seems to be a common mantra, particularly in fighter units where stringing all your reserve days together is more difficult, so that might lend itself to commuting to the airline. Lastly, commuting to both is a last resort, no matter how much you love where you're living. While, I've heard the legend of it being done done successfully, I've never seen it. A family and a double commute usually ends up in a move or the loss of two of the three.