Originally Posted by HardLemonade

Brah...congrats on getting paroled. It'll be all booze, broads, and blow jobs now. Just don't make the mistake of chasing tail at work like half these bozos do. Not unless you want to be labeled a fool behind your back.

Now...first thing is first. Go slay some hood rats to get back into shape. You want to be pumped and ready to rock the first time back in the sack with some quality beef. Second...take all your cash and hide it. "Invest" it somehow in something...better yet, give those stacks to your parents and have them invest it for you. Then when the coast is clear cash those Benjamins out. Reverse Laundering....the ole' divorce two step.

Third...keep the dog. Let her have the TV. Take said dog to the dog park...use it as leverage with the local MILFs. Welcome back to freedom. I've been saving you a seat....