Originally Posted by LabMonkey76

You may notice by my name that I happend to be an expert on this. Back in 1976 we tested a Monkey in a Lab, and trained him to hand out tickets and buckle seatbelt, unfortunately one of our technicians, Johnson, took away his banana during his break. He messed with the wrong monkey, and the Lab Monkey, soon to be dubbed a "service monkey" killed Johnson. We had to put him down, it was a sad day for all of us, and we haven't tried to train another one since.