Ok I stopped reading after 10 lines.
Stop crying.
You have absolutely ZERO to complain about. You quit a job that requires the paying back of a bonus ( bad move) and you got onto a Lear.
Many would give their right nut to be in your position.
Man up, put your big boy pants on and sit it out till you at least have your ATP.
These people took a risk to give you an opportunity.
Thousands of pilots suffered through the after effects of 9-11 and 2008.
Be grateful for what you have and don’t F it up.
Alternatively pay back the $5k and give up your seat to somebody who really wants it.
But your resume is gonna suck if it reads Quit Quit Quit