No one is saying the captain is a god. Not a single person. It's a team sport, but in the end it's the captain's call unless there is a critical error.
I make it explicitly clear to the FO that if they see me doing something dumb to say and then do whatever they have to including making me cry to stop it. That is reciprocated- it's not a mistake until it gets past both of us. In the end, though... I'm leading the show. Crappy leaders get crappy results. Just because you don't accept the chain of command (when the CA tells you to do something non-standard unless it's unsafe or straight up stupid, it should be challenged then you do it) doesn't make the CA not your "boss."
I let everyone do their thing as a default, as we're trained professionals (I do make sure the FAs write down their names and the word if they don't... 5 second memory here, haha). People work better when they are let to do their job that they know, and they respect leadership better knowing they are trusted. In the end when the poop hits the fan, it's my call as CA, though.
38 years old, btw.