Originally Posted by
CoefficientX
I’ll throw this out there, I know I’m an outlier. I got divorced 15 years ago. She made more money than I did. Initially we both retained lawyers. It didn’t take long for us both to realize the lawyers are in it for themselves. We dropped the lawyers. Found the appropriate forms online, filed everything ourselves and that was that. About $300 out the door.
Again, she out earned me by a lot and her retirement was sizable compared to mine. She and I sat down one day and I told her I want two things, 50/50 custody and half of the equity in our home, you keep everything else. She said ok.
Before we parted ways my lawyer promised I’d regret not going after more. After 15 years I realize not going after more was the best thing I could have possibly done.
My situation is absolutely not the norm, I get it. But don’t just assume you have to lawyer up and blow through huge cash to make it work.
The reason I throw out the layer thing right away is that you can make a lot of mistakes at the start, and those can come back to hurt you. You can always let your attorney go if it is clear that you can work things out amicably. But if you make a big mistake on your own at the start, and the other party eventually decides to lawyer up, it can be hard to undo.