To echo some of what rickair said: get your private first and re-assess at that time.

A big question that will come up will be school vs. FBO. There are pros and cons to each, but most people I know come down on the side of getting training at the local airport FBO--it's (usually) cheaper and with more varied flying experience. Another option which may be available to you is a college with an aviation program (e.g. Purdue, UND, Lewis, etc. etc.). Could be a good fit.

Lastly, aviation training is expensive; no way around that. As a woman you may have access to some grants through Women in Aviation. They certainly won't cover everything and (I think) require you to have your private first, but, if you do decide to become a pilot for a career, you want to start out with as little debt as possible.