Maybe collect input on possible scenarios and then when the balloon goes up, while wearing your big boy pants, make a decision since you have already gathered the necessary info.

If "they" aren't interested enough to keep you apprised of their expectations/wants/desires, then maybe it just wasn't that important to be there for it?

Or maybe, the $$$ isn't that important to you if you want make to make every single life event. In that case, don't put in for a green slip.

You seemed to be irked that they call you too much, and also irked that you don't have enough time to sort it all out. And also irked that you might miss Johnny's music lesson. Just kinda comes across as counter-intuitive.

Having a wife and having children and commuting are all choices, or so I've heard.