I'd like to thank everyone who took the time to respond, especially JohnBurke for the long, thought out response. I apologize for not responding earlier. It's been a busy two months since I last posted. Losing your job right before Christmas when you have three kids, having to drive three days across the country for Christmas, explain to the in-laws why you're driving instead of flying like usual, drive back, all the while applying for jobs, and then starting training...it's been crazy, and to be frank, pretty miserable.
An update since I last posted, I resigned from Republic, as you may have discerned. I did this because every union rep I talked to ensured me that the article 18 meeting was merely a formality, and the decision was already made. A very disappointing end to a company I had enjoyed working for, for several years, to say the least. Obviously I immediately put my applications in everywhere, as I needed to put food on the table. I was pleasantly surprised to have 5 interviews lined up almost immediately at other regionals (thank God for the pilot shortage). I did the first two interviews and got two job offers. I was starting to feel a little more calm--it seemed like I was still a desirable asset. I turned town a third interview, but I went to the last 2 interviews because those were my top two choices. Unfortunately, after the interviews, both said thanks but no thanks. Even during this shortage, with thousands of hours of jet and part 121 time, they didn't want me (due to the checkride failures, I think it's safe to assume). All this to say what is abundantly clear--this is my last chance.
I feel very grateful to my new regional for giving me a second chance (I'm going to not say the company name for a few reasons, but it's irrelevant anyway). As I said, I have started training this month. I took the advice of friends and people here into consideration, and accepted a "high time FO" position rather than direct entry captain. That being said, I will get another attempt at upgrade soon...just a couple hundred hours. This is my last chance. I have to succeed...or at least go down giving it my all.
During indoc at this new job, they had an interesting presentation about psychology and "lotus of control." Do you believe you control what happens to you? You have internal lotus. Do you believe you have little control, and external variables control your fate, then you are an external lotus person. All this to say, when you fail a checkride, are you the person who says, "If I had just gotten the brake fault message instead of the LH aileron fail, I would have passed," or "my seatfill screwed up the hold, it's not my fault," or "that examiner screwed me." That's an external lotus mindset and it will get you nowhere. Or are you the type of person who says, "What did I mess up? What can I do differently?"
This struck a chord with me, and I've been trying to do some serious reflecting as to what I messed up on the checkrides, and what I can do to change it. I have come up with three main areas I need improvement on, and I'd like the advice of anyone who feels they have insight to provide:
#1) My nervousness for checkrides is off the charts, and it's getting worse. I've always been nervous about them, but I haven't had any issues with checkrides until this upgrade. I think it's because it's one thing to surpress your nerves and perform at an FO level, or whatever, but it's another thing to be the center of the show. I need to figure out a way to suppress or compartmentalize my nerves. Any ideas?
#2) My demeanor, lack of leadership, lack of command authority, whatever you want to call it. This is affected by nerves, of course, but I've also always been a quiet, soft spoken person. I need to figure out a way to at least
appear more confident, etc. Does anyone have any ideas for leadership courses, or books, etc?
#3) (This may be a hybrid of the first two, but I feel it's worth discussing.) I make odd decisions during these checkrides that I wouldn't do in real life. An example would be a situation in which we
know we're diverting. But before I divert I sit there and calculate bingo, even though nobody is telling us to hold (in other words, there is no need to calculate bingo). Why? Who knows?!? Because that's what we did every time in the sim lessons, I guess. Apparently I make my decisions based on what I
think the examiner wants to see, rather than what truly pertains to the scenario! My decision making in these events is, like I said, affected by nerves, but I need a way of correctly making a common sense decision, and not
overthinking this stuff.
Originally Posted by
JohnBurke
You didn't indicate why the Guard advised that you won't upgrade. Was that a budget issue, or an airmanship issue?
Three upgrade attempts in a year? The most glaring problem I see, or the impression given, is one of judgement. Why rush into the checkrides like that
...You need to take a long, hard introspective look at what prevented you upgrading at the Guard, and what led to these training issues. Don't go in for an upgrade if you're not ready. Not the first, nor second, nor especially a third.
...Upgrading isn't about flying the airplane. It's about command. An upgrade checkride shouldn't be any more than what one would encounter on a proficiency check, or in other words, just the basics. The flying shouldn't be the problem, but the command part may be, which is flying and talking and deciding. It's about managing.
Reviewing your comments again, I see you're thinking about going for a direct-entry captain position ... it shouldn't even be a consideration, but you really shouldn't be thinking aobut direct-entry captain positions. You just failed three captain upgrades in a row, in short order. Wise up. Don't do that again.
Also...six years at Republic (four, if you were out two years on active)...should be enough time to learn the procedures and the airplane, especially if you're studying all the time in your spare time (as anyone intending to upgrade should do). On the heels of a third upgrade failure, you shouldn't be thinking about your next captain position (direct entry, etc). You should be thinking about establishing a solid track history (won't happen quickly...it requires time), and then making a sensible, calculated upgrade attempt ...Slow down. Think about this carefully.
The only real way to explain any training failure is to own it, and to show what you learned from it. The proof comes in a long line of subsequent checkrides.
Thanks again for the detailed response. I took your advice into serious consideration. I agree that I should not rush into an upgrade again, and largely based on your advice, I accepted a high time FO position rather than DEC. However (and this may seem ridiculous in light of my recent failures and this thread) it really is time for me to upgrade. If I were to give an honest assessment of myself, I don’t think airmanship is the issue. Anyone who’s been through Air Force pilot training knows you don’t just coast through unless you have at least
some modicum of skill. Hand skills haven’t been the issue, nor knowledge or lack of studying. Checkrides haven’t been an issue either, until this upgrade attempt. I really feel the main issue is a lack of command like you said. And the lack of command is due to my nerves, in an acute sense, and due to my soft-spoken demeanor, in a chronic sense.
Originally Posted by
12oclockHi
… Reading and than rereading your post, I sense a real lack of self confidence, and possiblely a strong passive personality that naturally tends to deferance to others. …That said, I think you are having issues taking command and being the boss. Being assertive is something your employer can't really teach but the job demands.
Yes this is accurate. I’d compare it to Charlie Brown, in the Thanksgiving special, when Peppermint Patty calls and invites herself over for dinner, and he doesn’t have the backbone to tell her he’s already got plans at his grandma’s house, and gets himself into a pickle with being committed to two dinners at the same time…and his sister tells him it’s his own fault because he’s so “wishy washy.” That’s me in the left seat.
Originally Posted by
tallpilot
…I don't like the little gotcha with the bank angle. Maybe there is gouge about that you could have known if it's a common technique. It doesn't matter if you had a fair shake or not as far as moving forward with your career but perhaps the union can use it to save your job.
Yes I agree. Not to make excuses, but just for some context of my frustration, I had a lot of gouge for the LOE…the three profiles were LGA, BWI, DCA, etc. But when I sit down the day of the LOE, the examiner hands me a release for ORD to CVG…apparently, unbeknownst to me, they had just updated the LOE profiles only a few days prior, and all my gouge and prep was invalid! Again, I’m trying not to make excuses, and like you said it doesn’t matter whether I feel it was fair or not. I just want to make what adjustments I can and move forward.
Thanks to everyone who’s managed to read this far! I appreciate any assistance you can provide! Have a great day.