Thanks for the update. I'm glad you got back on the horse. I know how stressful it is scrambling to find a job. I think you did the right thing not taking the DEC position. Once you finish training and consolidate I would try to figure out how to seat fill for simulator events. Not all airlines allow it but if yours does the more time you spend in the sim the more comfortable you will get. You need to do something to get past checkride nerves before you attempt the upgrade.