Study a little psychology. You are obviously very self confident, were probably raised well by your parents who were themselves probably conscious enough to emphasize that you learned to value yourself from yourself more than from external sources (ie. peers). You were also most likely to have been supported in the same way by the culture of the community you grew up in. Completing the trifecta comes from innate factors helping to generate these aspects of your personality.

One of the big downsides of this subtype is the potential of blind spots and rigidity which I think the portion of your post I highlighted touches on: There’s deep frustration that some grown adults can’t help but to care about what others think of them and it can be inferred that this is some sort of weakness, personality flaw, or other undesirable trait when it’s more a question of a different upbringing, culture, and genetic predispositions. There’s pros and cons for each type (actually a spectrum) with no clear position being ideal. Maslow’s hierarchy explains a lot of it.

The other downsides are often ego protection and moral/value judging. It’s not a character flaw if people value what others think of them and it’s not weakness if people don’t want to be involved in toxic / judgemental situations. Telling others to simply ignore the chaff indicates one doesn’t seem to realize this variance exists (blind spots) or has little tolerance for people who aren’t like they are (rigidity). If these people could simply ignore it they would. Dude, you know me - I’m not shy about posting on the B&G but even I’ve lost sleep, more than once, over how the forum received and reacted to posts I’ve made even if I do shoot from the hip more than I should.

Anyway, this isn’t meant to be a character attack, critique, or criticism - just a possible explanation for why you are frustrated with this issue and it kills CML time for me. I think you’re smart AF, we are lucky to have you in the group, and really hope to see you back to you know where in the future. But I would suggest a little more sympathy for those who aren’t comfortable posting on the B&G.