Note: This is the joke thread, so please do not read too much into this and please try to exercise restraint in making sarcastic replies. Life is too short to be walking around angry and upset all the time.

A man called 911. "Hurry, send an officer. There's a Democrat in the
alley behind my house, and he's jacking off". The 911 operator says
"Huh? Can you repeat that, sir?" The man says "Send an officer -
theres a Democrat in the alley behind my house and he's jacking off!"

The operator says "OK Sir, we are sending an officer, but - How do you
know this guy is a Democrat?"

The man replies "Oh, hell, thats easy. He has to be a Democrat. If he
was a Republican he wouldn't be in the alley jacking off - he'd be out
screwing someone!"