wild4theuniform

A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out
of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph,
enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

Amazing; he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal
to the metal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the highway patrol behind him,
blue lights flashing and siren blaring.

I can get away from him. No problem! thought the elderly nutcase as he
floored it to 100mph, then 110, then 120mph. Suddenly, he thought, What
on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense pulled over to the
side of the road and waited for the Trooper to catch up with him.

Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to the driver's side of
the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, Sir, my shift ends in 30
minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were
speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go.

The man, looking very seriously at the Trooper, said, Years ago, my
wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were
bringing her back.

Have a good day, Sir, said the Trooper

vagabond

HSLD, the time has come to close this thread that I started in the spirit of fun and goodwill. I've never come across so much name calling and vitriol as I have found here.

To all the nice people I met here, good bye and bonne chance. Fly safe.

Skygirl

Vagabond, you seem to be requesting Paul to close a lot of threads lately, and sometimes I agree with you, but why close this one, and why have you suddenly become the key master? I haven't heard too much vitriol here. Could it be because of my little question about dumb blonde jokes that has rattled your cage? If one can dish it out about some, then they better be able to take it back!

I work with an Italian-American woman, and we just had this very same discussion the other day. She is intelligent and competent, but is being totally passed over because she is considered "white". I myself, am European-American as well, although both of those titles are bull**** to both of us, because we're Americans! But if everyone else is claiming their ethnicity, I guess we should jump on the same bandwagon. She has to endure every stupid Italian/mafia joke and I have to endure every lame-ass dumb blonde joke that gets passed around the office, but I can guarantee you money, that if we so much as passed around an Asian/Hispanic/Black joke via office email, we would be fired! They are not fired though if they pass blonde/Italian mafia jokes around. Scandinavian/Celtic/Italian people are ok to insult, I suppose.

Don't get me wrong, I have a great sense of humor, and I would laugh at a blonde joke, if they were indeed funny, but they're always lame, just as the Polish/Italian/Irish jokes have always been, they've never been funny....funny thing is, living here in the Bay Area, I often hear Asians telling those sort of jokes, but lightening will strike you down if you so much as pass around an office email joke about their ethnicity. I have indeed met MANY extremely racist Asians and other minorities here. I guess they think that just because I'm white, it is ok for them to tell me what they think about other people. I'm not ok with it, and I REALLY resent it, especially since I know that they are often the first ones to play the "race card" to further their own agenda.

Yes, I may be considered a flaming liberal Bay Area chick here, and I truly try to love and tolerate all people, but it goes both ways, and when I find myself being discriminated against, it's not ok.

wild4theuniform

The Pastors Ass
>>
>> The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
>> The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered
>> it in the race again and it won again.
>>
>> The local paper read:
>>
>> PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT
>>
>> The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he
>> ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
>> The next day, the local paper headline read:
>>
>> BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
>>
>> This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a
nearby convent.
>>
>> The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following
>> headline the next day:
>>
>> NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
>>
>> The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
>>
>> The next day the paper read:
>>
>> NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10
>>
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
>>
>> The next day the headlines read:
>>
>> NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE
>>
>> The bishop was buried the next day.
>>
The moral of the story is....being concerned about public opinion
>>
> can bring you much grief and misery...and even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life... Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer

wild4theuniform

LIFE IS ALL ABOUT ASS:

You're either covering it,
laughing it off,
kicking it,
kissing it,
busting it,
trying to get a piece of it,
behaving like one,
or living with one.

Low & Slow

THREE PARAGRAPHS REMOVED DUE TO LANGUAGE - Admin

With a flourish, the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"