November 14th, 2008
To: All Song...er...Comair underlings
Fr: J.S.
Re: Re-retirement
To all of my dear friends at Song...er...Songair...whoever you are. It's been an interesting 11 months, 29 days, 14 hours, 37 minutes and 8 seconds since I took the reigns (not that my wife and I have been counting). I would like to thank each and every one of you little people for working hard to make me look so damn good. I...I mean we...have accomplished much during my tenure at Comair and I'd like to list just a few of
our accomplishments:
1. 292 furloughs in the pilot group
2. 100+ FA's on furlough
3. Reduction of our top heavy CRJ-900 fleet. Who needs 14?
4. Successful Spring bait and switch campaign to lure hundreds on property
5. Generous donation of block hours to less fortunate regional carriers
6. Successful implementation of morale diminishing programs such as:
- surprise paycheck garnishments
- destruction of the highly successful ASAP program
- the addition of security cameras in flight ops
- eMaestro - that's a thesis all it's own, not a one line success story!
- The first annual pay to play Holiday party...wait that was canceled
- The termination of the Honeybaked 1/2 price ham program
- daily contract violations
Wow, where has the time gone? It is with great sorrow that I say farewell to Songair. I have enjoyed all of the photo opportunities, the Songair update conference calls (remember...
YOU are responsible for your own morale!) and dissecting this once proud airline, piece by piece.
It is with much excitement that I announce that I have accepted a new position as the CEO of Glamor Shots International. My photogenic face, unlimited ability to pose as well as an uncanny ability to bring people together will certainly make me an ASSet to Glamor Shots.
As you all continue your short journey aboard the Titanic of regional airlines, I wish you all the best finding a lifeboat since there is now one less.
Chapagne wishes & caviar dreams,
J.S.