You guys are really making mountains out of molehills here.

First off, in my 10 years of professional flying, I can count on two hands the number of times that I have gone around in visual conditions at towered airports.

EVERY TIME, tower issued instructions. (As they are required to per FAA Order 7110.65). Those instructions may vary depending on the airport. You might get "make left traffic" at a place like Allentown, PA. On the other hand, you're pretty much guaranteed that you won't get "make closed traffic" at a place like ORD or LAX, even in the middle of the night.

When I fly into a controlled airport in visual conditions, I brief "If we have to go around/missed we will go straight ahead to X feet or as instructed by ATC". I figure once we get established in the climb and cleaned back up, then either ATC will tell us what to do, or ask our intentions.

9/10, they say "fly runway heading, maintain x feet, contact departure".