Guildenstern - first off... WOOF WOOF! Love the avatar and the movie! Kelly's Heroes is honestly one of my favorite movies of all time! Donald Sutherland will always be "Oddball" in my mind, even though he's had many other great roles.

As for the flying stuff, I can about imagine how you feel, I tried to get get out twice and every time I see an airplane fly overhead I feel like I need to be in the driver seat. Your options will be extremely limited right now but keep your eyes and ears open. Fly MS flight sim on your computer as much as you can tolerate to keep the instrument scan going and brush up as best you can (cheaply) and keep chasing opportunities. Did I see you got your IA? as in an A&P IA? If you do have your A&P certs that might suit you well in a corporate flight dept. someday or you can get back into the flying world that way (at least initially).

I'd look for some 135 jobs in the area honestly - they are usually looking for pilots more often and you might find a livable scenario. Its not always ideal and you'll have to get over some trust/maint issues you talked about (may not be perfect, new or clean, but SAFE is the key, but you will burn oil, leak oil, have deffered stuff, its deffinitly not the airlines.) As far as the WX standards, you wouldn't necessarily have weather radar and you have to go with your gut, what you see out the window, and solicit help from ATC. A little extra planning before the flight is what separates the safe pilots who are sucessful and move on from the reckless onces that end up with problems or worse an accident etc. I'm pretty happy with my 135 gig for now. I"m home everyday, have weekends off and I make more than a lot of regional FOs. Its not someplace I want to stay any longer than I have to but its a good place to be when the industry is upside down like it is. I have a steady paying job that pays ALL the bills, it keeps me current, and I'll be in a decent position when better things come along again. Overall I have many more days where I think "wow, this is great" than ones where I know I"m not compensated enough for flying down to minimums in a snowstorm at 2am with a bug sprayer for de-ice to depart again (as an example of a disgruntled day - but hey sometimes thats fun! sick I know) 135 jobs will also open you up to a lot of corporate flying opportunites that you don't realize are out there or might give you perspective on the other side of the industry chatting with corporate pilots at the FBO you may be waiting at for fuel, couriers, passengers, etc. It could be a welcome change from 121 but your milage may vary. At least I now I know I'm open to both.

Its good you recognize your personality issues or attitudes (if you'd call it that) since CRM, communication, and a positive attitude are important if you want to have a successful *happy* career and since you see that you should be able to adjust if you work at it. Its also good to be realistic about other goals or possibilities outside of flying for hire too - there are many fulfilling things out there and you can still be involved in aviation some way or another, even if its just mentoring some kid at the airport once in a while or the occasional rental. You can say "been there, done that!" which is more than many people who lose sight of the dream (for various reasons) before essential ratings or that first paid job. Good luck to ya!