Being out on LTD does have it's problems, and one of them is that the company no longer tells me when my passport is about to expire. So the other day I noticed, just by chance, that my passport had indeed expired, and that if I plan to make it to The Australian Open, The French Open, and Wimbledon next year, that I'd better get my butt in gear and get either a new one, or if they'll do it, the old one renewed. What a pain in the arse this has all turned out to be, so with that in mind, I thought I'd share this letter about this very issue.

Dear sirs,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a cable t.v. from them back in 1987, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date. For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my social security card, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years. It is on my health insurance card, my driver's license, on the last eight damn passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done at election times.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!! I apologize, I'm really pi$$ed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bullsh!t! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my freakin' address.

What is going on? You have a gang of Neanderthal a-holes workin' there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for sh!t sakes. I just want to go and park my butt on a sandy beach.

And would someone please tell me, why would you give a sh!t whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city and get another freakin' copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooo, that'd be to damn easy and maybe makes sense. You'd rather have us running all over the freakin' place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some a-hole to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know,the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic freakin' morons) Hey, you know
why we can't smile? We're totally p!ssed off!


Signed
- An Irate Citizen.


P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 ........I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had security clearances up the ying yang........However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN INDIA !

Sincerely,
You Sure In The Hell Should Know Who.

 

Good luck getting back into the country.




Sarcasm aside, sounds pretty typical of a government program. Good luck with this. Quite obviously, we should have Radio Shack running segments of the administration.

 

And that will seem like a tea party if the gubmint gets it's moronic hands on health-care.

 

And would someone please tell me, why would you give a sh!t whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days?

let me get this straight if I need to renew my passport I better not go see the inlaws?

 

Wow,

How does the President fly in and out of the Country? [xxxxxxx]

 

Now you have an excuse not to go

 

I used to visit this ranch just outside Reno, Nevada all the time (it is closed now). I wonder if that would have caused problems?

 

It depends, what did they raise there?

 

rabbits

 

P.S. You kids get the hell off my lawn!