Annoying Airport Personalites
 

My husband says I resemble one of these!! The nerve. As long as it's not No. 7, I'm ok with it. :)

From Tripso, by James Wysong:

There I was, in my sixth hour of sitting at Chicago's O'Hare airport, watching another foot of snow fall on the closed runway, getting the caffeine shakes from my third cup of overpriced coffee, listening to an incessant stream of political blabber from the TV screens in the terminal. Seemed like I had two choices: Read the USA Today — again — or do some people watching. I chose the latter and, taking a good look around, came to a sudden realization: There sure are a lot of annoying people out there.

Of course, flights attendants are among the most annoying people in the airline industry. I know this because I am a flight attendant myself, and I know how we sometimes behave. We shout at you to take your seat when the seat-belt sign is on, but we think nothing of getting up to use the lavatory ourselves. We shrug our shoulders when you complain, wear fixed smiles the entire flight, and threaten to call the authorities if you dare to cop even the slightest attitude. Believe me, we know that we are annoying at times.

But what about these clowns?

1. The line moron
This clueless individual holds up the line through sheer inattention. Here's an example: In a 20-person line at Starbucks, with enough time to memorize the menu, the line moron waits until he gets to the register to begin thinking about what he wants to order. After he changes his mind a couple of times, the people behind him, who desperately need a caffeine jolt, are contemplating strangulation.

2. The stop-and-starters
These folks are guilty of what is called in the airline world "pulling a Christopher Columbus." They are the people who, in a busy airport, feel a need to stop on every whim — oblivious to the people walking behind them. Whether it is to check for their passport, window-shop at the novelty store, or look at the departure monitors from 20 yards away, these airport cruisers will come to a sudden and complete stop. Then, as you try to go around them, they start walking again and you have to stop, thus creating a chain reaction of stop-and-go traffic.

3. The hands-free guy
This is the man with the hidden cell-phone device in his ear. When he speaks directly at you, causing you to utter some polite but confused reply, he points to his cell phone and frowns at you as if you are the idiot. This is also the guy who broadcasts unwanted details of his conversation to the entire gate area.

4. The hurry-up-and-wait agent
Your flight is late because of a late inbound aircraft, but when it is finally ready for boarding, the gate agent hurries all the passengers aboard as if they are to blame for the delay. Then the aircraft sits at the gate for 20 minutes while the baggage handlers board all the luggage ... and parcels ... and crated cats and dogs.

5. The security buffoon
This is the person who ignores all the instructions on how to get through security smoothly. He keeps his laptop in his bag when it goes through the X-ray machine, has a liter of water with him, and is surprised when his cell phone goes off in the metal detector. Who suffers? Everyone behind him in line.

6. The boarding bumbler
This is the passenger who, with a hundred people behind him at boarding, decides to stop in the aisle to methodically unpack his bag for every blessed thing he might need during the flight — newspaper, earplugs, breath mints, three snacks — you name it. And when you try to squeeze past, he fumbles something then grumbles, "I'll just be a minute."

7. The foot-stink neighbor
This is the guy who takes off his shoes in the middle of the flight and, even though he knows that the smell is paralyzing, ignores the stink or even jokes about it. If this happens to you, feel free to either pass the hint to this person or tell a flight attendant. We are not normally the stink patrol, but I have insisted to more than one passenger that if he didn't put his shoes back on, I would have the authorities meet the flight. Same goes for nail polish and products like Vicks VapoRub, Bengay and smelly carry-on food.

8. The water guzzler
Now, we all know that drinking water is very healthy and I encourage everyone to do so. But the passenger I am speaking of drinks several gallons of water in flight, insists on sitting next to the window, and has a bladder the size of a peanut. If this describes you, at least offer to switch seats with the person on the aisle.

9. The sneezer
This is the passenger who sneezes or coughs without covering his mouth. To me this is one of the worst. We all know that sometimes we are forced to travel when we are not 100 percent but, please, let's all practice proper hygiene. I recently flew as a passenger and the person behind me sneezed and coughed the entire time without once covering her mouth — even after I turned around and asked her to. By the end of the flight, the back of my head was damp. Needless to say, I caught a cold soon afterwards.

10. The stacker
This passenger stacks all his newspapers, snack wrappers, used Kleenex and empty beverage containers on one meal tray and hands it to the flight attendant. When the mountain of garbage unfolds like an accordion all over the passengers nearby, he looks at the flight attendant like it's her fault.

11. The strategic complainer
This is the passenger who is angling for an upgrade, a free drink or some other sort of compensation. He has a complaint about every aspect of the flight — seat size, connecting flights, boarding hassles, air quality, you name it — and he won't stop until he gets some kind of freebie. Unfortunately, these people are the ones who often do get compensated, while the kind, patient and courteous passengers don't.

12. The late arrival
This is the passenger who somehow remembers to check in his bags but then forgets about his flight. Gate agents page him at every terminal, and when he does not respond, are forced to remove his bags. The problem is that it takes about 30 minutes to locate luggage in the cargo hold, and the errant passenger usually shows up after 15 minutes. Biggest excuse? "I was in the duty-free shop and lost track of time." Really? You show up three hours prior to departure and it flies by just like that?

I know this list is only the tip of the iceberg and you probably have many more annoying people to add. So speak up: E-mail me someone who really bugs you when you fly. I will update the list and send out a copy of my new book for the best responses.

Haha, Awesome list :)

1,2 and 5 are my pet peeves!.. dont forget the people that congregate smack in the middle of the concourse, blocking thruway traffic. or the ones that crowd the aisle the second that the plane comes to a stop.. like they're gonna get off the plane any sooner that way.
I once had a very normal-looking businessman type rub his foot against mine. At first I thought he didn't realize he was doing it (maybe didn't realize it was my foot) so I moved my foot away. Farther.. and farther away.. until it was practically climbing the wall, but he kept on following. At that point, it was just obvious he was molesting me. :eek::eek::eek:

13. The guy who always spills his drink on the backseat table having it go all over his pants ( thats me haha ) .

1. People sitting behind you who go in front of you getting off the aircraft, then stall you because they had bags in some of the foreward overhead compartments.

2. People who complain about airplanes and how little space there is, or how the airports suck. Or how they hate traveling. Or whatever, I can't stand that. Get over it people it's not that bad.

Guilty of 5 and 6.

I like those, but I hate it when the plane pulls up to the gate, and EVERYONE stands up immediatly, as if the doors are open and we can flood out the door within seconds. I just sit there and wait til the line moves a few seats ahead before I even think of standing up. This same mentality makes me wonder if I'd ever survive an emergency with these people!

14. The Stinker (I was sitting right next to this guy in this example)
This guy is total trash. His baby does its business, so what better thing to do than change his diaper in his own seat!?! The smell proceeds to stink up the entire cabin; excrement spills onto the floor; and even F/As can't walk around to do their duties because of the horrid stench. When you ask him if you can lower the arm-rest (ostensibly to relax, but actually to provide some separation), he asks, "Well, who's gonna use it? Me or you?"

:mad: :mad: :mad:

The late arrival is what I most frequently have to deal with as a gate agent.

There have been many occasions where I have had to deny boarding to a passenger who, even though was checked in well soon enough to make the flight with ease, still found it exceedingly difficult for whatever reason to make the 4 minute walk from ticket counter to the gate in time to make the flight.

And as predicted, these people become very upset, sometimes to the point of swearing at me and cursing me. I make it very simple for them. I have them pull out their ticket jacket and I open it up and show them the inside and point out the very explicitly explained contract of carriage that details all of the reasons why he or she was denied boarding.

Sometimes this shuts them up and they storm off with their tail between their legs.

Other times I have to go on to explain that this information is readily available on our website and is also posted on signage at the ticket counters.

A new one to add to the list would be the liar. I can't tell you how many times passengers try to lie to me about one thing or another in an effort to take little to no responsibility for their own actions that caused them their inconvenience. And these are ADULTS!! :eek:

1. Armchair Quarterbacks of flying (aka the people who know more about flying than everyone else) for instance two people sitting in front of me insisted that the airplane would go no higher than 8000ft (737 pit to lga)
***Same type of people you hate to listen to at an airshow cause the formation of f18s is definitely... has to be a fx-189 (enter random airplane here haha)

2. The Delay Complainer (aka the person as soon as ANY delay for ANY reason feels the need to swear and get on the cellphone instantly even for a 5 - 10 minute atc delay) These people would complain if an engine was falling off and they couldn't hit their eta time

3. And as said before - everyone rushes to stand up as soon as the airplane stops then no one moves for 20 minutes

i got another one

15. The people who decide to bring their kids with them, these kids happen to be raised by monkies becuase the entire trip they have the ability to be the most annoying kids ever and the parents do nothing to stop it.

I can't stand that one, I sit till I see movement, and even then I get dirty looks sometimes when I am in the aisle seat and do not stand till I see movement.

Another pet peeve of mine is the Southwest Airlines Trained Passenger. At the other carriers such as AA. There are boarding numbers and assigned seats, so there is no reason to stand right in front of the gate door and block everyone who has a earlier boarding number. Because Southwest doesn't have assigned seats everyone feels like they have to stand in the way just to get a good seat. We are not cattle or a school bus, so sit down till your boarding number is called.

yeah i like the way AA does their boarding...

15. The seat putter backer.

There is no room to put your seat back without destroying the person behind you. They should not go back at all.

16. The seat kicker. They also exist at the movies, roller coaster rides, and concerts.

What is up with these women with enormous wedding dresses insisting on using the whole coat closet on an RJ,etc. They expect the whole world to revolve around them because they are getting married. Seems like one on almost every flight lately.

Nice find.

I hate this guy, especially when they're not talking on the hands free bluetooth thingamabob but they still have it plugged into their ear. :rolleyes:

17. The 300 pound guy in the seat(s) next to you on an 10 hour flight to Hawaii. Double points if he isn't wearing deodorant.

Double points? I think you win the game with that one....I can't think of much worse than that scenerio, even crying baby isnt going to cry for 10 hours straight (I would hope)

That drives me crazy. I used to commute from SEA-BOS on the red-eye, I would rest my head on the tray, and when the person in front of me tried to recline, I would hold my head against their seat so that they couldn't recline. They normaly gave up fairly quickly.

I had one guy in front of me that reclined right when he sat down on the ground and only had it up for takeoff and landing. Once we hit the ground, BAM! reclined again. It was only NOT reclined for about 20 min total the entire flight. :mad:

There is no point in reclining the seat anyway, you get maybe 5 degrees out of it.

One thing that bugs me these days is the no-line policy for the lavs. It seems like whenever I get up to go to the lav someone sitting within 3 rows of it gets up and in before I even make it to the aisle.

I'm not in line for the lav, I'm just standing and stretching to avoid DVT....but, as long as I'm here, might as well use it

I was PAX on an ATR about 15 years ago. The whole A/C stank, and I mean stank. It was a "Rasta" guy about 3-5 rows in front of me. The guy directly in front of me turned around, and in all seriousness, said, "I just want you to know, I'm not the one causing the smell." It was a long hour and a half.:eek:

I have two to add: But you have to be in uniform to fully appreciate

1) The drinker (especially 1st class) no matter how turbulent the flight is, they're getting their drink on. And you watch and pray it doesn't land on your uniform.

2) The idiot who will ask you why does X happen when you're trying to sleep. Ex. What is going on in JFK that all the planes are delayed?

Uh have you looked outside and noticed the fog rolling in?

http://i257.photobucket.com/albums/h...don1/seat1.jpg
http://i257.photobucket.com/albums/h...don1/seat2.jpg

IMO, these are unethical, but if seat recliners get on your nerves that much, they can be ordered at http://www.kneedefender.com/html2/buy.htm for about $15.

I'm surprised those aren't banned or something.

The Lav tourist. The guy who gets up to Pee 5 times on the 1 hr flight from ICT-MEM. This is esp annoying if you are stuck in the special torture of seat 13B.

Take some avrodart already.

Going up to Canada a few summers ago, one of the legs of the flight was a 3 hour trip from IAH- Minneapolis-St. Paul airport. My seat was the closest one to the lav, and some guy was stricken by severe diarreha. I didn't count how many times he went to the lav, but it was over 7 or 8. To make things worse, the flight was full so I couldn't change seats and the smell just wafted through the plane. I think that's the only flight I've ever disliked.

A couple years ago my boss (a Major in the US Army, so you think he'd know better) came back from a vacation to the states with almost that same story.

He was headed back to visit his kids and checked in at Frankfurt four hours before departure. He figured dropping his car off at Rhein-Main Air Base, the bus ride to the other side of the airport, and check-in would take a while, but he was flying during that odd time in the morning between the rushes that it took him no time at all.

He went to grab some breakfast and catch up on a little reading in the Terminal and lost track of time. 30 minutes before departure he realized he was late and made a mad dash through passport control and the two different security screenings only to arrive at the gate after the door was closed, but the aircraft was still there. They wouldn't let him board and he waited at the gate area while they searched for his luggage and removed it from the plane.

Ended up taking an evening flight to Amsterdam and then a flight stateside the next day.

Smaller airplane and shorter flight but commensurate...

Down to KSAT and this guy comes on. Weighs in easily north of 300.

Within a few minutes he is asleep, snoring and beginning the leans. Next he is leaning over on me. I jostle him with a shoulder and the grumps awake and glares at me. But soon is back asleep.

I finally tap him on the shoulder and advise, "We have only just met and I think it is far too early for us to be sleeping with each other. DO YOU MIND?"

The F/A had watched this little episode and told me there was an empty row nearby. I gladly accepted.

I'm going to be the annoying passenger who's complaining about delay's. Just checked my flight status, for a flight 6hrs ahead of time, and it's delayed 1.5 hrs:( I just want to go home!!!! I've only been awake since 5:30, be in IND at 11:15pm now, and won't get home til 12:30! So anyone going FLL-IND on Airtran tonight, Watch Out!!

The arm rest hog.

Some go so overboard that they are practically leaning on me. I hate spending a whole flight trying to knodge some idiot off of me. Ah, personally space anyone? Plus its kinda creepy.

<---Still in a great mood, flight's delayed another hour. 9:35 departure now! Although the Airtran FA's I talked to earlier were hilarious!

I have honestly had a couple of people on different occasions somehow get a hold of my station phone number and ask me if I know if their flight is going to be delayed. When their flight doesnt leave for another week.

It's so hard to resist sometimes to say to people what I would really like to say.

I don't know..

I was on a redeye AMC contract MD-11 from World Airways out of BWI to Kuwait via Rhein-Main (EDDF) 3 years ago and this guy had his wife and kid, the kid was about 3 years old. The child screamed for at least halfway across the Atlantic. Most of us on the plane were already torqued cuz we had to take that bird all the way down to the desert; no one got any sleep on the first leg...

They are banned, you are not allowed to impede the seat back in front of you.

According to the FAA they aren't allowed during takeoffs, desents, or whenever the tray tables have to be upright and locked. Other than that they are allowed.

I love the people who see a uniform and automatically assume you know everything about whatever airport you are at.

I'm 6'2'' so unless I'm in economy plus I usually never have extra room. I understand the lack of space and at most will only put my seat back a fraction of the distance and always look back to see if I'm bothering the person behind me.

When someone puts their seat back infront of me I usually keep my legs straight so that their seat hits my knees before they get it all the way back. On one occasion, a short middle aged lady found that she couldn't get her seat back all the way and rather than give up she leaned forward and slammed all her weight back against the seat several times to get it to go further. I lost my hold on her last attempt and she won. Only help I got was from the FA who told her to put her seat up so that I could put my tray down to eat. Otherwise the seat pitch was so terrible that with her seat back the tray would only come down about a quarter of the way before the bar hit my knees.

Another lady put her seat all the way back as soon as we took off and left it back while she went elsewhere in the plane (Lav, visiting friends etc). I put it up once for her but when she came back she immediately put it back down, then sat sideways in it as she talked to her friend in the aisle seat (she was in the window seat and the middle seat was open).

The "Is this plane really safe?" guy/gal. (most often asked about the aircraft that needs paint--folks will happily fly a piece of ******* if the paint is new).


"Heck, we've got a roll of duct tape, a rabbit's foot, and a plastic Jesus on the dash.... oh, and my wife doesn't mind my girlfriend. We'll be fine."