"Ground....SkyHawk XXX "Heavy" ready to push"

Please tell me you are not serious. Please tell me you know what a shortcut is for IFR flight plans

Yeah, we had one similar to that one on our field the other day. I'll translate it. Original was german:

ASK21(Glider): Uetersen Segelflug, D-0721-Heavy, could you please get on the phone, I'd like to get towed! (There was nobody talking to the winch at that moment)
EDHE: 21 Heavy?
A21: I got my wife aboard...
EDHE: OK D-0721 heavy, I'll Kontakt the winch for ya!

It was a pretty good laugh for us all. I was flying and almost messed up cause I was laughing...:p

Ummm. Actually the "shortcuts" referred to in the above posts refer to "career shortcuts" due to race, gender, nationality, etc. (Affirmative Action).

When you talk about or hear the word "shortcut" on the radio ("Center, Southwest 234, how about a shortcut today?"), the aircraft calling is looking for direct to a point down the road.

I was wondering what short cuts we women have supposidly taken in life?

Whatever, he obviously doesn't want to own up to his comment. :rolleyes:

Ugh, This is gonna get ugly. Let's either carry -that- particular discussion to another thread or drop it all together. I don't want this long running, light hearted, often hilarious thread getting closed or off topic with a debate on sexism.

No problem. Consider it dropped. :p

A Piper Warrior decided to try to beat out two King Airs that had already picked up their IFR clearances by departing VFR on a marginal Day.

Warror xxx: Good morning Center, departed VFR would like to pick up our clearance.

Center: Uh, I have two King Airs that I need to get out first. Maintain VFR and I'll get back to you.

Warrior xxx: Uhhh ok. Well I'm in the clouds now. Should I descend?

Center: Affirmative, and I have a phone number when you are ready to copy.

Center: Mexicana I though I told you to cross the intersection at 17000 and 250 kts.

Mexicana (in a nice thick accent): Sometimes you make it...Sometimes you don't

uhmm ok.. so the thousands of us who ask for or accept various shortcuts given to us by ATC on a daily basis every day of our flying careers are very unprofessional.. and the professional way to reply to such an unprofessional request would be make a snide comment about the total stranger's career instead of simply saying no.
so you must have never asked ATC for a shortcut? or how about when your captain says, "hey why dont you ask center if we could ____." I guess in your case you tell him, "no can do. why should WE be entitled to go direct to this fix when the skies are congested with everyone else waiting to go places."
i should try this tomorrow to see the expression on my captain's face! :rolleyes:

Just read this on the internet about 20 mins ago:

Lufhansa Pilot to co-pilot, forgetting that the frequency was open: "We used to come up the Thames, and turn over here for the docks...."
Voice on frequency: "ACHTUNG SPITFEUR"

Did I say women took short cuts in life? Go back and read again. :confused:

That is funny:D

I didn't mean you, sorry.

It was a JOKE!!! Something heard on a radio by a casual observer... if you don't think its funny feel free not to laugh. So you want to call the FAA and tell them controllers are sexist *******s, go ahead, but don't take it out on me.

Sigh...

I guess you are right. I can only imagine how people would have responded if this were a racial joke. I worked for the NAI and know that a joke against a black pilot would be unacceptable. Why is it alright for jokes to be made against females?

Alas, this is what I am use to. I have struggled with this type of mentality throughout my training. I can only hope that you will mature and gain some insight and understanding. You wonder why there is affirmative action in place. Well you have just shown us why. I would hate to be an aspiring female pilot reading these forums. I personally would be discouraged. I don’t mean this to be an attack against you. Think about your actions and words is all.

Can't blame me if I don't think your comments are funny. I have struggled with this type of mentality throughout my flying career. Can't imagine the scrutiny you would have received if this were a racist comment. Too bad we are still in an era to be willing to accept such sexist comments.

"I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable
to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our
nation don't have maps and uh, I believe that our, I,
education like such as uh, South Africa, and uh, the
Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they
should, uhhh, our education over here in the US should
help the US, uh, should help South Africa, it should
help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be
able to build up our future, for us."

Let's just forget about all this negativity. I personally don't enjoy talking about it.

Let's get back to funny posts. Just please reframe from hurtfull comments, k? ;)

Lol, what are you talking about?

Miss South Carolina... she is a bright one
http://www.metadish.com/2007/08/26/m...olinas-finest/

google Ms. Teen USA South Carolina. I watched the clip and shut off my computer afterwards.

Here you go.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww

So she is an example of a female pilot?

I am not even going to research, "stupid guys."

You will have to do better then that. :p

Lol....This may prove to be funny afterall.

All I can say is you wish you had her as a FO. Don't lie :)

ok kids....get this thread back on topic.

transgendered minority pilots are great is everyone happy?

Get this great thread back on topic before I have to close it, we have already spent about 20 posts talking about it

Thanks for steering things back in the right direction "Gunny" ;)

But before we go, let me leave one lasting thought for all of those folks out there.

The best pilots that I have flown with aren't the ones that are hung up on gender or race. In fact, some of the best aviators that I know are female. They don't think of themselves as women in the career field. They don't try to prove something to others to "justify their career as a woman". They just fly. They consider themselves pilots- not male, female, black, white, asian, hispanic, etc.

Those folks that do get hung up on ethnicity or gender are the ones that I've found to be the most INsecure in their abilities. They are also the same folks that I personally wouldn't hire if I ever started my own company...

Well said.

Alright, no more silliness guys. Back to subject. I would hate for this to be closed. Got this off the internet as I am too tired to think of anything now

"Pushing Tin":

Nick Falzone: (to Russell Bell) I'm personally going to see to it that you go down in flames!

Airplane Pilot: What?

Nick Falzone: Negative, United. That was not to you. Not to you!

CO569: What was that thin that just passed overhead?
ATC: Over or under?
CO569: Over
ATC: Uhm, I don't have anything in your area
CO569: I'm looking at his contrail right now, looked like an F16
Random aircraft listening in: *wispy voice* It was me....
ATC, the TED pilots, and several passengers in the cabin laughed

One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?" The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."

I had student once screw up so bad it was amusing. The call sign was 34D. The student was supposed to say to "approach 34D checking in level 3000'." Instead he said "ahh..... Delta ahh....... holding short 3000" Controller came back laughing and said if you can hold short at 3000' you must be a pretty good pilot" I couldn;t say anything I just laughing too hard.

"Miss South Carolina, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."

Here's some that I've just run across as I clean my room in preparation for tomorrow's move:

Approach: Sure you can eight miles behind that heavy. There'll be a United tri-jet between you and him.

Tower: Air Force 45, it appears your engine has ... oh, disregard. I see you've already ejected.

ORD Tower: Citation 123, if you quit calling me Center, I'll quit calling you Twin Cessna.

(For reasons I'll never understand, this one cracks me up.)
Pilot: Tower, please call me a fuel truck.
Tower: Roger. You are a fuel truck.

Pilot: Price County Traffic, experimental will be going down in the lake off the end of 01.
Unicomm operator: We'll notify the sheriff's department immediately. Hang on!
Pilot: ...uh, we're an amphibian.

(Don't know if I believe this one actually happened, but I can understand the sentiment.)
GAF269: "Roger, German Air Force 269 is cleared to Indian Springs via after takeoff radar vectors to 4000 feet thereafter present position direct BOM, do not pass BOM at 6000 feet or below. After passing 15000 feet turn right heading 280 to intercept J-156 direct ZZT thereafter intercept J158 own navigation and I need another pencil."

Tower: Delta Zulu Romeo, turn right now and report your heading.
DZR: Wilco. 341, 342, 343, 344...

I overheard this exchange a few years back early one morning in Savannah, GA when I was waiting to pick up my clearance:

SAV Clearance (In hurried voice): "Delta 1036, cleared to Atlanta via radar vectors, as filed, climb and maintain 5,000, expect two four thousand in one zero minutes, departure frequency is 125.3, squawk 5656."

Delta (In slow southern drawl): "Savannah, Delta 1036... Either you're going to have to slow down a lot, or I'm gonna need a few more cups of coffee, but either way, I'm old and it's early. So far I've got Delta 1036 is cleared to Atlanta and that's it."

Cracked me up. (Mainly because I was feeling the same way!)

This one was in IFR magazine...

Piper 123: “They keep extending my route. If they keep extending my route I’m going to be low on fuel. Why can’t I go direct?”
Potomac Approach:: “Piper One Two Three, unable direct. Direc twill take you over P-40. Proceed direct Hagerstown, Victor 501, Martinsburg, then as previously cleared.”
Piper 123: “But if they didn’t keep extending me I wouldn’t get low on fuel.”
Approach:: “Piper One Two Three, if you feel you are low on fuel I advise you to stop somewhere and get fuel.”
After two more exchanges:
Approach:: “Piper One Two Three, I’m not doing this to you. You cannot fly over P-40. Are you familiar with P-40? It’s Camp David.”
Piper 123: “I know about Camp David, but I didn’t see any TFRs. This is making me get low on fuel.”
Approach:: “Piper One Two Three, if you fly over P-40 you’re not going to be worried about fuel.

Have a simular story....

Sitting on the ground at PYM, behind a citation and a beachjet. We call Cape APP. for a clearance to ACK ( it's a friday enening in July, ACK is 1/4 mile and Cape is saturated) we are told to expect a 20 min delay. After 10 minutes or so, allong comes a Cherokee six belonging to an area restraunt owner who owns a house on the island. He calls and is informed of the delay.

Cherokee xxx: Cape Clearance,Cherokee xxx, is there anything you can do? I need to get over there ASAP.
Cape: Sorry, Were saturated, you'll have to wait behing the other three AC. on the ground there.

Another 10 minutes goes by and the Six taxi's out on the runway and blasts off ( PYM is CAVU). I shake my head because I figure he didn't get weather and is attempting to scud run over.

Finally after another 15 min, were on our way......... to LFV and a hold. While holding (30 minutes), We here Mr. six make repeated attempts to pick up his clearance airborne and Cape justs keeps ignoring him. Finally Cape responds.

Cape: cherokee xxx, Cape app
Cherokee xxx: Cape, cherokee xxx like to pick my clearance to ACK.
Cape: cherokee xxx, cape, unable, you were informed of the delay, sugest you land at HYA and re-file or take the Ferry.

I here Somone else on Freq: Dork

Oh yeah, we finally landed another 30 min later. :confused:

Over the North Atlantic near 30 west, on air-to-air, it was real quiet on the radios.

Sexy Female Voice: Oh my god its so big!

10 seconds later, S

ame Sexy Female Voice: I don't think its going to fit!

No way. lmao :eek: and you didn't try and respond?

response to an off route heading looking for direct destination/on course: "Tampa, how long till we can go the right way again?"

Funny to me at the time
 

The other day I was flying to BHM and someone got on the radio and politely asked for direct and the controller was really nice and worked it out for the guy and seemed real cheerful...so the pilot said thanks and commented how the controller must be in a good mood...then another guy got on and asked for direct but he really wasn't nice about it and the controller said "well I just got angry so no direct for you" and that was it. Just got a laugh out of it..

A friend of mine at our company was flying through the PWM airspace and heard one of the controllers ask an RJ if they would be able to descend in time for the visual and the pilot came back with "Oh yeah, we're descending like a Bonanza full of doctors."