i was solo in the practice area recently and being used to hearing tower give instructions i noticed that there was dead silence for a while so i decided to check in...

C1234(me): "tower, C5678, radio check"

C5678(another student): "loud and clear" (followed by the instructor in the background saying "hey, what the!?!" and cutting off transmission)

i was laughing my ass off cause i couldn't believe i called in with the wrong ID (and got a response from another student!). as i did another radio check with the right ID (just to correct myself because obviously at that point i knew the radio was working fine), i was laughing and cursing at myself thinking my instructor was not gonna let it down.

--case of the mistaken identity--


btw, loved the one about the bird. and yes i did read this entire thread!!!!

 

I've got quite a few of them here that I'll try to share with you:

I used to be a ramp controller for my airline at a busy hub. We controlled lots of transiting traffic to/fro the runway along with the gates at the concourse. A Delta 737-200 called me to cross the ramp, and I gave him clearance to cross. This guy was taxiing at an incredible rate of speed. It was a slow day, I key up my mic and say "V1....rotate". Delta crew came back on and said "yeah, sorry bout that. The captain just did a Mexico overnight and the food has reached the end of its trip"

 

Back during my OSU days, I was a competitor on OSU's flight team, and we had all gotten to know a few of the tower guys very well. A female friend of mine and teammate was already up in the pattern doing some practice when I called ready for takeoff. My clearance went something like:
"Buckeye 50, cleared for continuous operation for 27R, your play date is mid-field"

 

Another OSU tower example:
I had just gone up to the tower and bought the guys lunch, and was now getting ready to go do some flight team practices:
Me: "State ground, Buckeye 50 on the flight school ramp taxi with Lima for NIFA landings"
Ground: <garbled with a mouth full of food: "BYE50, unable, the airport is closed due to lack of interest"
Me: "Dessert's on me when I get back"
Ground: "BYE50, no delay taxi to 27R, I'll take a sundae"

 

One final example was recently heard on the tower in CVG. The standard clearance after landing on 18R is to "taxi via Bravo and Juliett, hold short of 18C, monitor tower 118.3"
A quick thinking Chautauqua f/o recently read back:
"We'll take a B.J. with the other guy before we get to 18C"

 

Kind of a long one but a classic USAF UPT story-

The USAF trains quite a few Saudi/Kuwaiti AF pilots...at UPT bases, they have what are called "RSU's", like a mini tower that is controlled by USAF Instructor Pilots watching (and grading) the students in their landings. They always have one or two students out there with them to copy down the "grades" of the students landings...One day, a Saudi is in the pattern on his first solo and there happens to be a Kuwaiti student in the RSU copying grades for the IP's when the Saudi turns short final without his gear down in the T-37 (a major no-no, cause for an immediate go around)...the RSU controller (looking through his binoculars, as they are supposed to) notices this unsafe condition and calls-

RSU- "Tiger XX go around"
no response
RSU- "Tiger XX go around"
no response
RSU- "Tiger XX this is the RSU go around, gear not down"
no response

The IP in the RSU, assuming there is a language barrier here, thinking quickly, turns to the Kuwaiti student next to him, hands him the mike and says, "you speak his language, tell him his gear is not down!". The sharp Kuwaiti student grabs the mike and in perfect English promptly yells, "Naji, put your f*cking gear down!"

"Tiger XX, going around"

 

There is a distinct possibility that was me.

 

Yeah...Those guys do taxi really fast out there. You really gotta be careful on the tugs, too, going to & from CMR's terminal to DAL's terminal. You're bound to get nailed by an MD-88, MD-11 or yeah...a 737 if you're not paying attention.

The 6:00 push was a RUSH!!!!!


atp

 

I was on ground, requested taxi and my IFR clearance to Chicago Midway. Ground told me to taxi and would have my clearance in a minute. Student was doing the run up when Ground came back with the clearance.

ATC: Cirrus 1234A read back is correct.

(a minute later)

ATC: Cirrus 1234A request

Us: Go ahead with your request

ATC: Yeah if you're going into downtown can you pick us up a Sausage Supreme Deep Dish from Gino's?

Us: Wilco!

 

All those crazy students at RVS. I've heard some good ones there