I agree with subic as I would not be at FedEx without the support of my wife. Remember the best retirement planning is if married is to to stay married.

 

Good luck with that.

 

When you do decide to get married, don't immediately "screw" yourself into debt during the honeymoon period. Another words...Wait a while before you have children.

EAHINC

 

There are plenty of brilliant careers and some happy families out there but rarely do the two meet. Many variables that are outside of our control need to come into alignment usually to make for a successful airline career and happy family life.

Ones overall life goals and values need to be consulted. In the end flying is just another job and one that has some huge faults. Most of the high achievers in aviation are either single or divorced. Eventually we all have to make the decision of staying with a career that clearly presents some huge obstacles to a successful family life or to become the big time airline guy.

I flew with plenty of 55 plus year old guys who left a trail of ex-wives and estranged children the the wake of their aviation careers. Most of them hit 60 with little to show for their 35 years in aviation except for perhaps a sun faded corvette in a rented garage. It did not seem like their aviation accomplishments mattered much to them at that point.

Life is about choices. It is impossible to live without regrets. The best we can do is to wisely choose what we will keep over what we will loose to time.

SkyHigh

 

I would never refer to it as screwing yourself, but you are right, wait a little while. My wife and I were married for 4 months and got pregnant. A baby has made things a little harder, but I also have never been happier. Ask yourself what your ultimate goal is. Is it a great career, or being happy with what you have and enjoying the ride and not just the result. I personally am more of a family driven guy more than a career driven guy. I still need to figure out what I want from my career, but I know what I want with my life. Good luck with all the "easy" decisions.

AEFO

 

True love does not conquer all...

Waiting until you complete probation at your career destination might be the best solution...that way the schedule and geographic options are known quantities going in, and should only improve over time.

Of course not everyone can wait that long. This may seem a little calculating, but you want be careful about who you bring along for the ride...otherwise you can harm that person, as well as yourself, your finances, and any kids involved.

The ideal aviation spouse would have marketable job skills in a field which is very portable and allows flexible works hours. She/he would also be very adventuresome and independent, and easily able to make new friends in strange places. Doctors, nurses, webpage designers, etc.

Flight attendants are usually a poor bet, you have scheduling issues that make it hard for her to work after kids. Also most pilots have a different philosophical outlook than most FA's...if you must marry flight crew, find another pilot.

You do not want the type who is overly focused on bling, hollywood, money, and appearances. Her romantic image of airline life will not hold up well to reality, and when she bails she will want a monthly consolation prize for her efforts Having financial goals is OK, as long as she has patience and a realistic understanding of the road ahead.

My SO has all the good attributes except that she is not as portable as I'd like, which limits my career options geographically.

 

I have known plenty of guys who have chosen to wait to buy a house untill they reached their chosen major, wait to get married till they upgraded, and, wait to have kids till they had reached their desired base.

Most of them are still waiting while life is passing them by. Good women affordable housing and offspring don't grow on trees and aviation careers usually do not follow a schedule carefully laid out by us.

While pilots wait to start living the days of their lives are slipping away.

SkyHigh

 

And you'd rather be on the forums? Wow...

 

I am in my second marriage and my wife is very supportive and understanding when I am away for any period of time. She always says that it's "part of the job" so she doesn't mind. When I have asked her, she reminds me that she knew this when she met me and when we got married so she's fine with it.

My first wife was another story. She always complained and gave me hell when I was going to be away and especially when I got back. She just never could understand that it's part of the job. That's an obvious big reason why we divorced. In fact, she also mentioned my being away in her divorce papers. My lawyer and later on the judge all got a good laugh!

 

Sky,

That is very true -- many pilots would have been happier in another line of work. Unfortunately, those who "wisely choose" to forego a dream (such as an aviation career), will always regret that too. No amount of evidence will convince them that they couldn't, somehow, have "had it all".