Thanks for your advice, I appreciate it. We had both our kids 1 and 3 yrs old before we got married. My gut tells me to consult with an attorney too, I think that’s conservative. Thank you!

How does that old saying go?

A man who plays attorney and represents himself has a fool for a client.

Good luck.

“Will they care?”

My opinion is that a company won’t look to get involved unless they have too.

If an employee complained about you, then the company would absolutely care.

If a spouse is complaining about how you conducted yourself on a trip, they likely won’t care. Unless staying faithful to a spouse is in the company handbook they wont go out of their way to punish you.

I’m not a professional, not even an airline pilot, so take my opinion with a grain of salt.

Yes. In today's world I seriously doubt that any large employer would wade into divorce dynamics, and that includes infidelity. Airlines are not the mil, they don't have a legal mandate to go there, and they certainly don't want to expose themselves to legal blowback or waste their resources on something which has absolutely no impact on them either way.

Infidelity is not illegal in the US in general (although I can't absolutely state that some small county or municipality somewhere doesn't still have a law on the books).

You will never see this headline: "Estranged wife accuses pilot husband of domestic abuse and gets restraining order". Everybody including employers and media knows the estranged wife is just tactically shaping the legal battlefield.

Only way it could be an issue is if you break some company fraternization rule. But generally crew are not considered supervisor/subordinate by airlines, since the FAA chain of command dissolves once you walk off the plane.

That being said, anyone who does anything with a coworker is still an idiot.

The “me too” movement has proved that people can get fired off of accusations. I think married men should stay loyal to their wives. If you can’t, get divorced before you screw around. I think that single guys would have plenty of options before resorting to coworkers. Best case scenario is a lot of drama.

100% true.

The key is having a soon to be ex wife that is financially better off. My now ex made substantially more money than me at the time of my divorce. Consulted with an attorney who wanted me to go after everything I could get, spousal support from her etc. We were married 11 years with three kids. I told him I didn’t want anything except 50% custody and half the equity from our home. He said I was crazy for leaving so much on the table and someday I’d regret it.

The ex and I decided no lawyers. We spent about $400 for online forms and filing fees. Done.

That was in 2003. To this day I have zero regrets about not using a lawyer. I firmly believe my kids benefitted in a large way by me not going after her money. She would have been a very bitter woman towards me and the kids would have suffered.

I realize my situation is not common but lawyers do an excellent job of polarizing couples which serves them better than it serves the couple and family of the couple.

I love it. Great to hear you did what’s best for the kids and handled a very difficult situation with poise. The kids didn’t ask to be brought into the world, parents chose that. Kids shouldn’t suffer or be weaponized for personal gain, you get it.

I have a great contact in the couples counseling areas if needed.