LOL! Nicely done sir! I remember one person telling me I should be in the military, because apparently being chased by a heat seeking missile is safer then being subjected to terrorists :rolleyes:

I've never understood how people can be so afraid of flying, but so ready to do some of the dumbest jackass-style stunts I've ever seen on this earth-nevermind the way half of them drive.

Will we get to see a cockpit creation about this one? :D

Rock, can't say I've ever been asked what my route is. Considering I fly Metros to 3000 foot gravel strips in the middle of nowhere, Canada, I can't say it's a particularly glamorous set of routes to choose from.

Mmmmmmmaaaybeeee.....

Yep, get that one all the time.

While commuting, the passenger who tapped me on the shoulder to ask me a plethora of stupid questions after I had put on my headphones.

That was this morning.

How about: Pilots who read the ATIS verbatim.

"10sm visibility"

Pax - "it's 10 miles only/ exactly?"
-----
( for you domestic folks...)

"temperature 15 degrees celsius.......um.....oh....uhhhm.....oh.....that's 59 degrees fahrenheit"

Pax -"celsius? Isn't that a drug I need to see a doctor about when it lasts for more than 4 hours?"
-------
"broken clouds at 3,000"

Pax - "I think the pilot just said there's something broken"

How about "mostly cloudy".

Ha ha yes. I roll my eyes :rolleyes: when captains give that speech " It's 3sm with mist"

TOTD to the captain who gave the pax a two minute lecture on wake turbulence while we waited to depart behind a 757.

The southwest crew in CHS today who were not paying attention, missed their hold short instruction, and then railed on the controller for "talking too fast" (she wasn't)... Congratulations, you are the TOTD!

I always liked the ones who would look at me when commuting, in uniform, on the plane, and say "are you a pilot?"

No, I just wear this while traveling to screw with the smurfs.

A SWA crew scolding someone for doing something too fast? Oh that's ironic. Lol. :D

Well, we don't know when the Delta husbands are coming home.....

The passenger who's bag didn't fit in the overhead who quickly said "Ya know, THEY put you on these small planes....."

FA chimed in: "Who is THEY? Did someone else buy your ticket or did you?"

Lady, now completely confused: "I bought it"

FA: "So what are you complaining about? Why do you chose to fly on a small plane?"

Lady, in a sheepish voice: "It was the cheapest ticket"


Bullseye

The UAL pilot who jumpseated on my flight, didn't check in with me, my f/o, or my f/a, and I didn't know he was on there until after we deplaned at the destination.

Sure he was jumping? Sometimes OAL pilots in uni are just using their bennies from a spouse, etc or are on a paid for ticket by their company or even bought one themselves.

If jumping OAL of course you should always say hi and ASK for a ride.

Today on my DH flight...
The pilot does his spiel on the PA with arrival time and blah blah. I was listening to music with headphones and reading a book. A pax next to me taps me on my shoulder and asks me "what time did he say we are going to arrive?"

Oh here we go.... People really get worked up over this? I don't get it.

Apparently people get worked up when use the word Celsius too.

Don't get it either...

Ba-zinga!!! :D

How about putting on makeup, texting, or yacking on the mobile, drinking coffee and smoking a ciggy all while barrelling through town at 50MPH during stop and go traffic too:eek:!

Had a dumb a$$ Jungle Jet Ace of the Base (and Ace is spelled with two S's) type stop me while deplaning the other day in RDU. I always travel in my monkey suit... Easier passing through security overseas.

After the first sentence out of Junior's mouth, I presented, for his purusal, assuming at least ELP 4 proficient, both my boarding pass, and e-ticket receipt indicating full fair... not even ZED:eek:.

To which I told him perhaps it is he who should be thanking me for making his paycheck possible:mad:.

After a half way round the world flight to get home, I'm not very sociable. but I do thank the crew for a good ride when I get off the jet.

As a paying passenger?!!!! I'd write a letter to the airline...a rug dance'll curtail his ego.

Tool!!!!

What the diddle did he say to you?

The tool I was seating in-front of that kept farting and heard him say "I better stop farting cause that last one had packing behind it.."

I was trying to minimize a chances for a confrontation after travelling for some 27 hours.

My nomination
 

The AMR tool who is taking 10 seats off of the 737 which now makes my commute to and from home even more challenging.

How does less seats equal increasing sales by a billion?

Hard to understand why a Fedex pilot forced to retire at age 60, and who wanted to continue working, would not take the option to bid back to F/E for 125K/yr instead of regional starting pay. We all knew the law would change; he could have come back to finish out his career as a captain again.

TOLD-The van driver today that drove for over 20 mins with his right blinker on while trying to hustle for tips (i.e. if you take care of me, I'll take care of you, etc)

There is a guy at 9E (W.P) who was an absolute godsend to the 9E, the training department and the pilot group. He has been a tremendous asset over here. Its not all about the money. The experience that he brought with him was very valuable. He didnt come here to just sling gear, he came here to make this place better and he has succeeded.

Boy isn't that the truth!

As a 747 pilot, you can use Len Morgan's old line when people asked him what he did: "I drive an 18-wheeler."

I've used that one before, and that usually pretty well ends that discussion. Occasionally I've been asked the trucking equivalent of "What's your route". I just respond with something to the effect of, "Oh, all over."

Both statements are completely true, while avoiding the pain associated with revealing you're a professional pilot. (Again, didn't see that one coming in my younger days).

Yet another reason I don't travel in uniform.

And what's worse, is the Captain who refers to the crew as "my...".

Did you say something to "your" jumpseater?

Thought so.

If capacity goes down (fewer seats), prices go up. Sucks for non-revving though.

Oh come on now Columbia, when's the last time you saw ticket prices go up? :rolleyes:

Besides, me thinks this about the extra flight attendant required.

Wow - one American flight attendant weighs as much as 10 seats? I thought it would be 25 or 30 seats! :)

I'm pretty sure that's what they were thinking. If I'm not mistaken, their NG's have 160 seats. Dropping 10 seats gives more leg room and one less FA.

Sucks for the FA's though.:mad:

One less FA? That's just airline management trying to avoid the great flight attendant shortage. It's just a year away you know...

Just tell them you're a heavy equipment operator.

Petroleum to rotation conversion technician in the pressurized aluminum tubing industry.

Sometimes it's easier to tell them you work for the IRS.

I've taken walking tours and that's what I tell my fellow tourists. Shuts them up pretty quickly and you get a lot of peace and quiet afterwards.

I've also told them that I was an analyst for the CIA. I can't talk about my work.

Back in the day when you actually got first class, I used to tell them I was a tank salesman.

You can have a lot of fun with it.

Just tell people you work in pr0n. Judging from TV, that gets a lot of respect.


Nu

I love these. My favorite is when they nudge you, point up front, and say "Hey, shouldn't you be sitting up there?"