crjav8er

So I am flying the last leg of a 4 day (SJC-DEN) and about 30 mins after departure the Capt gets that look of horror on his face. He immediately starts squirming and holding his gut. I ask him if he is ok and he says, "Oh man, I don't know if I can make it back to DEN." I educate him on the need to ALWAYS carry Immodium in his bag and then give him a few of mine. So the meds do the trick, or so we think. 25 mins later he calls the FA and says he needs to take a walk. He bails out and hits the lav. I feel bad for row 18 but 8 mins later he returns. I noticed that some of the PAX were laughing as they deplaned but didn't think much of it. All seems fine until we are heading up the jetway. One pax was slow because she was getting her kids stroller ready. As we passed her she starts laughing uncontrollably. We look back and she says to the Capt, "Excuse me sir, you have toilet paper on your shoe!" He had a 2 ft long tp train attached to his shoe. Apparently after he destroyed the lav, he didn't notice his trailer as he walked back up front.....

Who else has some good stories on this subject?

Speedbird172

Haha that's too bad, it must be a common occurence I would think. I'm still instructing, and although I haven't had that problem quite that bad, there have definately been times during some of those cross country flights where I've had to 'encourage' the student to push that throttle in a bit more. Yknow, to "make good time"...... ;-)

bobloblaw

I wont eat anything if I know I have to be in the air for two hours or more. Also, I try to destroy the bathroom before I leave.

crjav8er

Back in my 135 days I had an incident. About 30 mins from landing I start to feel the tremors. I did the o-ring squeeze with all my might as I hauled arse on the approach. Now this particular airport is very quiet at 0200, and there is only a port-a-potty in a very low light area. As I am reeling from the horrid gas pains and small pockets of escaping funk I realize that it is going to be a race to save my pants from impending doom. As I tear into the ramp I fly out the cargo hatch of my 402 leaving my courier to unload without my help for fear of my "cargo" unloading involuntarily. I make it to the p-a-p and procede to destroy it with an explosion that has been unequaled to this day. As I am choking from the smell of rotten death, I realize that something seems wrong. I was in such a rush as I entered the unit that I only squatted over the receptacle. I did not realize that the lid was down at the time. MAJOR MISSED DETAIL! So there I stood, looking at a growling pile of mud, frozen from shock. I then proceded to do the only sensible thing, I placed a square of TP over the biohazard and left, laughing my arse off.

I do feel bad for whoever opened that the next day, if I ever find out who it was I will buy them several rounds of their tasty beverage of choice.

JSchraub

HAHAHA that is a crazy story CRJ..

kansas

Now THAT is a funny story!

crjav8er

Aw come on now, I can't be the only one that has had something like this happen. Share!

Jakob

Nothing that special to say here... And furthermore it happened as a passenger (of course) but whatever... On a flight from Frankfurt to Chicago right about over Greenland that "gurgling feeling" started. Well food was just served and I just had to let the F/As bring it away again. After 10 more minutes or so I went to the toilet and, well, it just all came up... It was really weird as it was not chunks, but just green liquid... I don't know why! The bad thing: I didn't have time to hit the toilet so I had to use the sink. The second bad thing: the plug was broken so it didn't just go down the drain but stayed right there. When I was finished I thought: "Damn! I have to get that stuff down the drain somehow...". Well, unfortunatly I had to reach down, right through all of the barf and manually lift this God damn plug up. I had to hold it as it would always snap back again if I let go... I almost puked again when I reached down, right through all that stuff but there was just nothing left in my stomach... Next bad thing: As I was half way through emptying the sink, we encountered turbulence and some of that stuff spilled over my shirt... Geez, that was bad! I took my shirt of, still in pretty heavey turbulence and just then the F/A knocked at the door and asked me to get seated immediatly again. None of them had noticed what had happened luckily as I had enough time to drain down the rest of the stuff.
Well, that was my story, pretty damn grose and I do apologize to all women and all other pantywaists out there!

Illini

Walking out to hop into one of the planes for a flight, my buddy is walking in from a X/C. He is covered in something and it does not look normal.
"Hey, dude, what happened? - Me
"Whatcha talking about?" - Him
"Your shirt it looks weird and you...you stink." - Me
"Man, I hoped nobody would notice. I got sick from the burgers at one of the airports and hit turbulence on the way back." - Him
"Get outta here then." - Me
"I can't. I have to get something to clean out the Archer. It's just destroyed." - Him

And that Archer was ruined. I never fly it and the poor guys that do always come back saying that you can still smell it. In fact, guys have turned it down and gone home then sit in it when it's 100 degrees outside.

Illini

crjav8er

Hilarious.