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Old 03-05-2011, 10:35 AM
  #11  
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Originally Posted by HuggyU2 View Post
The problem is this...
in Singapore the hottest chick in the bar,... is actually a dude.

Next stop... Thailand.

That's ok, though. While they are on the floating grey prison for 6 months, you are doing TDY's to Vegas and Ft Walton Beach.

Life is good.
Not sure where you were hanging out, but all the chicks we found in Sing were Aussies!!!

TDY in FWB or Vegas is hardly repayment for a 6-8 month stint in the 'died, Al Dhafra, or the Predator bullet!! Only difference between Balad and the boat, is the boat pulls into awesome port calls every month or so.

My cruise sock was named Denise.
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Old 03-05-2011, 12:02 PM
  #12  
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Airman: "Hey Sarge, why did you pick the Air Force?"
Sergeant: "Well, in the Marines, you live in the mud and get shot at. In the Army, you live in a tent and get shot at. In the Navy, you live in a tin can and get shot at. In the Air Force, you live in a safe, comfy barracks and watch the officers fly off to get shot at."
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Old 03-05-2011, 11:17 PM
  #13  
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Originally Posted by Grumble View Post
Not sure where you were hanging out, but all the chicks we found in Sing were Aussies!!!

TDY in FWB or Vegas is hardly repayment for a 6-8 month stint in the 'died, Al Dhafra, or the Predator bullet!! Only difference between Balad and the boat, is the boat pulls into awesome port calls every month or so.
Touche!
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Old 03-06-2011, 06:02 AM
  #14  
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Originally Posted by Grumble View Post
chicks......Aussies!!!
Heaven on earth!

USMCFLYR
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Old 03-06-2011, 08:02 AM
  #15  
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Grumble:

I wrote this a number of years ago...was going to send it in fun to Bob Norris, but when I read his website and found out he had brain cancer, I decided not to.

Posted here in the spirit of 'ready-room' (squadron bar) fun. Tapes-on; Fight's on!:

USAF Snapshot: The USAF is exceptionally well organized and well run, but the down-day for “Safety Day” will always be scheduled on the best flying day of the year. Their training programs are terrific, except when the current syllabus makes no sense, or new base-wide computer systems are installed with untested software, and hands-on training is an informal afterthought. All pilots are groomed to meet high standards for knowledge and professionalism, but that doesn’t mean that it will stick. Those who fail to meet standards are given waivers for political-correctness. Their aircraft are top-notch and extremely well maintained, unless you are in a dying weapon-system, where you will scrounge parts from jets on pedestals (yup, I’ve actually done this). Their facilities are excellent, and yes, the Navy looks like the third-world in comparison. Their enlisted personnel are the brightest and the best trained, and since they don’t eat on a ship, are at least 20 lbs lighter than their Navy counterparts. The USAF is homogenous and macro, which means you will drink vitamin-D milk and have Microsoft Word on your desktop. No matter where you go, you'll know what to expect (damaged household goods), what is expected of you (join the O’Club or you won’t get promoted), and you'll be given the training & tools you need to meet those expectations (TQM, ORM, CRM, and Diversity Training). You will never be put in a situation over your head; rather, you will suddenly find yourself in over your head. Over a 20-year career, you will be home for most important family events (your wedding; your first round of marriage counseling due to constant deployment; your Divorce due to constant deployments, your child custody hearing, and your commander-ordered credit-check and financial history investigation). Your Mom would want you to be an Air Force pilot...so would your ex-wife. Your Dad would want your sister to marry one, unless that pilot was a chick. That would just be wrong.

Navy Snapshot: Aviators are part of the Navy, but so are Black shoes (surface warfare) and bubble heads (submariners). “Fly Navy” makes as much sense as “Float Air Force.” Furthermore, the Navy is split into two distinctly different Fleets (West and East Coast). The Navy is heterogeneous and micro. Your squadron is your home; it may be great, average, or awful---just like the Air Force. A squadron can go from one extreme to the other before you know it---just like the Air Force. You will spend months preparing for cruise and months on cruise, while if in the USAF, you will spend months in the sandbox. The quality of the aircraft varies directly with the availability of parts, which is an issue since most money in the Navy goes to boats. Senior Navy enlisted are the salt of the earth; you'll be proud if you earn their respect---just like the Air Force. Junior enlisted vary from terrific to the troubled kid the judge made join the service. You will be given the opportunity to lead these people during your career; you will be humbled and get your hands dirty. The quality of your training will vary and sometimes you will be in over your head. You will miss many important family events. There will be long stretches of tedious duty aboard ship. You will fly in very bad weather and/or at night and you will be scared many times (ditto for the Air Force). You will fly with legends in the Navy in 4 v 4s against legends in the Air Force, and the USAF will kick your a$$ until you go back to “Marshall Stack.” Somehow, while awaiting your turn to “trap” in holding, you will expect (or hope) to become a lethal force. The Air Force will do 2 v2 while you are gone.

And some days - when the scheduling Gods have smiled upon you - your jet will catapult into a glorious morning over a far-away sea and you will be drop-jawed that someone would pay you to do it. Taking-off and landing from a carrier is an elite and admirable skill, to be sure. However, that esoteric ability does not translate into combat power or force projection if your target is more than 250 miles inland. That requires an Air Force tanker.

The hottest girl in the bar wants to meet the Naval Aviator. That bar is in Singapore. She is the hottest girl in that bar, but she is a TDY (TAD) 9…..a CONUS 4. She has a host of communicable diseases, many of which have no cure; some which could be fatal. She wants to get into your g-suit because you represent financial security to her and her entire immediate family of 17 people. She knows a drunk sailor is an easy-mark.

Meanwhile, your Air Force buddy (who kicked your butt in the last Cope Thunder) is working on a hot state-side chick he won’t be ashamed to be seen with the next day.

Bottom line, son, if you gotta ask...screw the academies. Go ROTC or OTS!!!!
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Old 03-08-2011, 05:59 PM
  #16  
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Originally Posted by UAL T38 Phlyer View Post
Meanwhile, your Air Force buddy (who kicked your butt in the last Cope Thunder) is working on a hot state-side chick he won’t be ashamed to be seen with the next day.
Unfortunately for the Air Force guy (Who called the kill on an out of the envelope, unvalidated FQ shot, because the mere thought of turning post merge with a Naval Aviator made him soil his flight suit) that girl is going to wind up in the BOQ room of a Naval Aviator who's just passing through on a cross country on his way back to one of the Navy's beautiful coastal locales (like El Centro, Fallon, Lemoore, or Yuma).

And the guy who's never on the night schedule at the boat... he's an AF exchange pilot.

Fly Navy!
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Old 03-08-2011, 07:53 PM
  #17  
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Originally Posted by XHooker View Post
Unfortunately for the Air Force guy (Who called the kill on an out of the envelope, unvalidated FQ shot, because the mere thought of turning post merge with a Naval Aviator made him soil his flight suit) ... !
Funny

Originally Posted by XHooker View Post
And the guy who's never on the night schedule at the boat... he's an AF exchange pilot.
Funny because its true
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Old 03-09-2011, 03:41 AM
  #18  
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Definition of a fur ball... Navy guys never kill removing and screaming "Monte Carlo" all over the radios.

How is not being on the night schedule a bad thing?
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Old 03-09-2011, 11:49 AM
  #19  
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Originally Posted by Pakagecheck View Post
Definition of a fur ball... Navy guys never kill removing and screaming "Monte Carlo" all over the radios.
Not true... first to kill remove is first to the bar. Every Naval Aviator knows this. We also won't stop by the Q to put on a freshly ironed flight suit (seen first hand).
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Old 03-09-2011, 05:06 PM
  #20  
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Originally Posted by Grumble View Post
...to put on a freshly ironed flight suit (seen first hand).
This is a GREAT thread,...
... however, I would call "bull****" on this, save for the fact that you saw it first hand. That said, in 25 years of wearing Nomex, I've never seen anyone iron one, despite all the claims from my Navy/Marine brethren that "AF guys all do it".

Although, I used to wear an ascot...
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