Life as a Pilot
05-18-2007, 09:05 AM
#1
On Reserve
Thread Starter
Joined APC: Apr 2007
Posts: 19
Life as a Pilot
"Life as a Pilot"
22 years old: Graduated from college. Go to military flight school.
Become
hot shot fighter pilot. Get married.
25 years old: Have 1st kid. Now hotshot fighter jock getting shot at in
war.Just want to get back to USA in one piece. Get back to USA as
primary
flight instructor pilot. Get bored. Volunteer for war again.
29 years old: Get back from war all tuckered out. Wants out of military.
30 years old: Join airline. World is your oyster.
31 years old: Buy flashy car, house and lots of toys. Get over the
military
poverty feeling.
32 years old: Divorce boring 1st wife. Pay child support and
maintenance.
Drink lots of booze and screw around while looking for 2nd wife.
33 years old: Furloughed. Join military reserve unit and fly for
fun.Repeat
above for a few more years.
35 years old: Airline recall. More screwing around but looking forward
to a
good marriage and settling down.
36 years old: Marry young spunky 25 year old flight attendant.
37 years old: Buy another house. Gave first one to first wife.
38 years old: Give in to second wife to have more kids. Father again.
Wife
concerned about "risky" military Reserve flying so you resign
commission.
39 years old: Now a captain. Hooray! Upgrade house, buy boat, small
single
engine airplane and even flashier cars.
42 years old: 2nd wife runs off with wealthy investment banker but still
wants to share house (100%).
43 years old: Settle with wife # 2 and resolve to stay away from women
forever. Seek a position as a check Captain for 10% pay override to pay
mounting bills. Move into 1 bedroom apartment with window air
conditioners.
44 years old: Company resizes and you're returned to copilot status. 25%
pay
cut. Become simulator instructor for 10% override pay.
49 years old: Captain again. Move into 2-bedroom luxury apartment with
central air conditioning.
50 years old: Meet sexy Danish model on International trip. She loves
you
and says you are very "beeeeg!"
51 years old: Marry sexy Danish model for wife #3. Buy big house, boat,
twin
engine airplane and upgrade cars.
52 years old: Sexy model wants kids (not again). Resolve to get
vasectomy.
54 years old: Try to talk wife out of kids, but presto, she's pregnant.
She
says she got sick after taking the pill. Accident, sorry, won't happen
again.
55 years old: Father of triplets.
56 years old: Wife #3 wants very big house, bigger boat and very flashy
cars, "worried" about your private flying and wants you to sell twin
engine airplane. You give in. You buy a motorcycle and join motorcycle
club.
57 years old: Make rash investments to try and have enough money for
retirement.
59 years old: Lose money on rash investment and get audited by the IRS.
You have to fly 100% International night trips just to keep up with
child
support and alimony to wife #1 and #2.
60 years old: Wife #3 (sexy model) says you're too damned old and no
fun.
She leaves. She takes most of your assets. You're forced to retire due
to
Age 60 rule. No money left.
61 years old: Now Captain on a non-schedule South American 727 freight
outfit and living in a non-air conditioned studio apartment directly
underneath the final approach to runway 9 at Miami Int'l. You have
"interesting" Hispanic neighbors who ask you if you've ever flown
DC-3's.
65 years old: Lose FAA medical and get job as sim instructor. Don't look
forward to years of getting up at 2 AM for 3 AM sim in every
god-forsaken
town you train in due to the fact your carrier can find cheap, off-hours
sim
time at various Brand X Airlines.
70 years old: Hotel alarm clock set by previous FedEx crewmember goes
off at
1:00 AM. Have heart attack and die with smile on face. Happy at last!
22 years old: Graduated from college. Go to military flight school.
Become
hot shot fighter pilot. Get married.
25 years old: Have 1st kid. Now hotshot fighter jock getting shot at in
war.Just want to get back to USA in one piece. Get back to USA as
primary
flight instructor pilot. Get bored. Volunteer for war again.
29 years old: Get back from war all tuckered out. Wants out of military.
30 years old: Join airline. World is your oyster.
31 years old: Buy flashy car, house and lots of toys. Get over the
military
poverty feeling.
32 years old: Divorce boring 1st wife. Pay child support and
maintenance.
Drink lots of booze and screw around while looking for 2nd wife.
33 years old: Furloughed. Join military reserve unit and fly for
fun.Repeat
above for a few more years.
35 years old: Airline recall. More screwing around but looking forward
to a
good marriage and settling down.
36 years old: Marry young spunky 25 year old flight attendant.
37 years old: Buy another house. Gave first one to first wife.
38 years old: Give in to second wife to have more kids. Father again.
Wife
concerned about "risky" military Reserve flying so you resign
commission.
39 years old: Now a captain. Hooray! Upgrade house, buy boat, small
single
engine airplane and even flashier cars.
42 years old: 2nd wife runs off with wealthy investment banker but still
wants to share house (100%).
43 years old: Settle with wife # 2 and resolve to stay away from women
forever. Seek a position as a check Captain for 10% pay override to pay
mounting bills. Move into 1 bedroom apartment with window air
conditioners.
44 years old: Company resizes and you're returned to copilot status. 25%
pay
cut. Become simulator instructor for 10% override pay.
49 years old: Captain again. Move into 2-bedroom luxury apartment with
central air conditioning.
50 years old: Meet sexy Danish model on International trip. She loves
you
and says you are very "beeeeg!"
51 years old: Marry sexy Danish model for wife #3. Buy big house, boat,
twin
engine airplane and upgrade cars.
52 years old: Sexy model wants kids (not again). Resolve to get
vasectomy.
54 years old: Try to talk wife out of kids, but presto, she's pregnant.
She
says she got sick after taking the pill. Accident, sorry, won't happen
again.
55 years old: Father of triplets.
56 years old: Wife #3 wants very big house, bigger boat and very flashy
cars, "worried" about your private flying and wants you to sell twin
engine airplane. You give in. You buy a motorcycle and join motorcycle
club.
57 years old: Make rash investments to try and have enough money for
retirement.
59 years old: Lose money on rash investment and get audited by the IRS.
You have to fly 100% International night trips just to keep up with
child
support and alimony to wife #1 and #2.
60 years old: Wife #3 (sexy model) says you're too damned old and no
fun.
She leaves. She takes most of your assets. You're forced to retire due
to
Age 60 rule. No money left.
61 years old: Now Captain on a non-schedule South American 727 freight
outfit and living in a non-air conditioned studio apartment directly
underneath the final approach to runway 9 at Miami Int'l. You have
"interesting" Hispanic neighbors who ask you if you've ever flown
DC-3's.
65 years old: Lose FAA medical and get job as sim instructor. Don't look
forward to years of getting up at 2 AM for 3 AM sim in every
god-forsaken
town you train in due to the fact your carrier can find cheap, off-hours
sim
time at various Brand X Airlines.
70 years old: Hotel alarm clock set by previous FedEx crewmember goes
off at
1:00 AM. Have heart attack and die with smile on face. Happy at last!
05-18-2007, 10:12 AM
#4
Line Holder
Joined APC: Apr 2007
Posts: 42
OUCH !!!! It's funny but the part that scares me it's that I could be that guy in 20 years !!! actually any of us here !!!!!!!!!!!!
The two weakness that when combined can suck up your LIFE :
AVIATION AND WOMEN !!!!!!!!!!
Make sure you only have problems with one of these two. If you are having trouble with both.......... stop looking for the ejectment handle..........you are already fcked UP !!!!
GOOD LUCK EVERYBODY !!!!!!!
The two weakness that when combined can suck up your LIFE :
AVIATION AND WOMEN !!!!!!!!!!
Make sure you only have problems with one of these two. If you are having trouble with both.......... stop looking for the ejectment handle..........you are already fcked UP !!!!
GOOD LUCK EVERYBODY !!!!!!!
05-18-2007, 12:09 PM
#6
Asphalt Cowboy
Joined APC: Dec 2006
Position: Shotty!!
Posts: 248
sure as hell beats having one boring wife and being stuck in the suburbs your whole life working a dead end job you hate
i wouldn't take that life to be able to marry a danish super model though, she'd have to be italian
i wouldn't take that life to be able to marry a danish super model though, she'd have to be italian
05-18-2007, 12:48 PM
#7
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: May 2006
Position: Bug Smasher Captain, CFI
Posts: 220
Originally Posted by HoboPilot
sure as hell beats having one boring wife and being stuck in the suburbs your whole life working a dead end job you hate
i wouldn't take that life to be able to marry a danish super model though, she'd have to be italian
i wouldn't take that life to be able to marry a danish super model though, she'd have to be italian
Age 21, graduate college, get first job, live in apartment with two other guys, drive a used car. have fun with the ladies.
Age 23, go to graduate school for MBA. Borrow 100K, to go to a "quality" school.
Age 25, graduate again. sign on with a fortune 500 company as a "middle manager" find first wife, live in an apartment due to oppressive student loan payment.
Age 28, go thru first corporate "re-org" or downsizing. lose job. move to a new city to find employment where there arent as many unemployed MBA's about.
Age 30, change to new "innovative" employer, seeking better pay and stock options. wife takes a job, so you can have a mortgage in the burbs and student loan payment.
Age 33, your "innovative" employer goes under. it seems that nobody really cared about that particular innovation. move to another city to find employment. wife gets angry about constant moving.
Age 34, get job with another fortune 500 company. hope this one will be stable. buy a cheap house in the burbs, as the student loan payments are still oppressive.
etc...etc...
im right in the middle. got the second wife and another kid..ha ha ha
05-18-2007, 01:40 PM
#9
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Aug 2006
Position: B727
Posts: 194
Being a pilot is as good as climbing through a layer with a full moon ahead of you and as far as you can see is a silvery cloud deck. If you have a soul that will be a picture you can call up for life.
It's as bad as getting to the outstation on Saturday morning and being told to airline home, the airline has shut down.
You have to decide if the bad is worth the good. For me it has been.
It's as bad as getting to the outstation on Saturday morning and being told to airline home, the airline has shut down.
You have to decide if the bad is worth the good. For me it has been.
05-18-2007, 05:05 PM
#10
Line Holder
Joined APC: Apr 2007
Posts: 25
sounds like a great life...
But I like happy endings, the end should something like:
Dies from Viagra induced heart failure with the sister of wife #3 or #2 on top wears his captains hat and make planes sound while...
Yeah ............
But I like happy endings, the end should something like:
Dies from Viagra induced heart failure with the sister of wife #3 or #2 on top wears his captains hat and make planes sound while...
Yeah ............
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