Confessions of an Airline Pilot
01-10-2008, 01:13 PM
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Confessions of an Airline Pilot
Confessions of an Airline Pilot
Captain "No Name" Tells All
By TERRY WARD
Sealed inside a metal tube, hurling 500 mph through the sky, blind to what lies ahead of you, behind and overtop…
Is there any more voluntarily helpless position than that of an airline passenger? Whether we're stretched out in first class or folded like origami figurines into a cramped coach seat, we’re all on equal footing once the captain pushes back for takeoff.
We buckle in, snack on some peanuts and sign over our lives to those uniformed defenders of our safety, locked and sealed out of sight in the confines of the cockpit.
The pilots -- save for an incoming 'hello,' a mid-flight update and a departing 'Thank you' or 'Goodbye' -- remain as anonymous as the guy sitting next to you in seat 12B. Just another travel enigma.
We recently caught up with a captain for a major US carrier who has been a pilot for more than 15 years, flying commercially for eight years.
He was relaxing poolside on a hotel rooftop during an overnight stop between east coast hops.
Under the condition of anonymity, he agreed to dish on the industry and turbulent travel times in general.
Here's what Captain "No Name" had to say:
On Airport Security:
They (security officers) give us some leeway if we’re in uniform. We don’t have to put our gels in those little plastic baggies -- they’re not supposed to take them from us if we’re in uniform. And if I’m just traveling somewhere and don’t have my uniform on and just have my pilot ID, nine times out of ten they’ll let me through security with all my stuff. Then there’ll be one TSA guard who will take away my toothpaste -- it's the inconsistency that drives me crazy, and certain airports are stricter than others. I've been going through security lines long enough now that I don’t have the patience for it. I wear exactly the same thing every day -- the same belt, same shoes, same tie, everything -- and nine times out of ten I won’t buzz. But Kansas City, for instance, I can take everything out of my pockets, take off my belt and I’ll still buzz when I walk through security.
On Good Airports:
We end up with a lot of breaks in airports for two hours or more at a time, so I’m looking for an airport with stuff to do. Logan in Boston is a good one. It has good food, and it’s a brand new terminal there. Reagan National Airport in Washington, DC used to be good, but it's under construction now, so they don’t have as much food. Overall, Orlando is a good airport. It looks nice. It's a busy place, but they have plenty of security to get people through.
On Bad Airports:
I despise Kennedy (in New York). The international terminal, terminal four, is new and nice. But terminals two and three should be condemned. I was just talking to a flight attendant the other day, and she said there’s asbestos in the terminals, and sooner or later they’re going to condemn them. There are literally mice and pigeons living in the terminals. I've been in our pilot lounge on more than one occasion and a mouse will run across the floor. People who are up there all the time warn you not to leave any food in your flight bags -- they have problems with the mice chewing right through the leather to get to the little bags of peanuts. And with the pigeons, it's not like they’re a rare sight either - spend an hour at Kennedy, and you’ll likely see one or two pigeons fly across the terminal. It's a horrible airport.
On High-Maintenance Passengers:
The biggest high maintenance crowds fly between LaGuardia and West Palm Beach. I had a flight attendant call it the miracle flight once, because they pre-boarded something like 63 wheel chairs in New York, and it was a miracle because when they landed in West Palm only three passengers needed help getting off the plane -- they all just up and walked off themselves. It was the miracle flight, because everyone got cured on the way down there. In the cockpit we don’t real have to deal with passenger dramas like that, but every flight attendant I’ve ever met hates working that flight.
On Delays:
At airports like Kennedy and Newark, the average afternoon delays are two hours plus…no one can really figure it out. Of course, the passengers have this feeling like they’re being held hostage on the plane -- you've seen it on the news -- but if we leave and get out of line, we have to start all over again. At Kennedy, you can have a day where’s there’s not a cloud in the sky and you'll still have a three-hour takeoff. When you’re sitting in line in traffic for two hours and you can see the sunshine, people don’t understand -- but at the same time, we (the pilots) don’t understand either.
The problem is communication breakdown.
As pilots, we can only pass on the information we're given. I can call our dispatchers to try to get information, but the only info we can get is from the air traffic control tower, and they don’t really communicate. If you ask and try to get specific info, they bite your head off. So it comes to a point where we stop asking, because they just get mad. It’s my job to try to keep the passengers at ease, and when I don’t have a reason why we’re delayed, I try not to lie people. One thing I can do -- and it may not be the best thing -- is I tell the flight attendant to comp drinks. Give ‘em free liquor. Maybe that’s the wrong attitude, but if you serve anyone two free drinks they’ll loosen up and it will make the two-hour delay pass faster.
On Things That Go Bump in the Flight:
Sometimes there are lightening strikes -- I've gotten off the plane and seen singe marks on the wings, even if the passengers didn’t notice a thing. And last summer I had an engine failure, where the left engine just quit in flight. We had to make this emergency landing, and obviously people knew something was going on because we were descending. So I just told the passengers the truth, that the left engine had quit. I could have just said we were going to be landing elsewhere due to a problem with the aircraft - maybe I should have left out the detail of the engine. Sometimes, I look in the future now as captain, and I think honesty is a good thing, but I think certain details can be left out so people don’t freak out. Engine failure can be a scary thing, and some things are probably better left unsaid.
On Partying Amongst the Crew:
I don't think it's what it used to be. Our crew -- the pilots and the flight attendants -- all stay at the same hotel. But years ago, certain airlines segregated the pilots and flight attendants because there was too much partying going on. Rumor has it that some pilots’ wives organized it so pilots and flight attendants would be in separate hotels. A lot of the major airlines still do it. Now that I’m captain, I’m flying with younger guys, 25 year olds, and they’re all ready to go partying and drinking. But the airline doesn’t want us drinking within 12 hours of a flight, and they really make it so our job as a crew is to watch out for each other. Today, I'll sit out here by the pool, have lunch with the crew, go to a sports bar and watch football. And I should stop drinking by 6PM as I’m due at the airport at 5AM. There are people who abuse it -- I'm not saying they’d show up drunk for work, but they might push that 12-hour rule -- and a lot of them have gotten themselves fired. I try to adhere to it. I really love my job. I can’t imagine doing anything else.
http://information.travel.aol.com/ar...21192209990001
Captain "No Name" Tells All
By TERRY WARD
Sealed inside a metal tube, hurling 500 mph through the sky, blind to what lies ahead of you, behind and overtop…
Is there any more voluntarily helpless position than that of an airline passenger? Whether we're stretched out in first class or folded like origami figurines into a cramped coach seat, we’re all on equal footing once the captain pushes back for takeoff.
We buckle in, snack on some peanuts and sign over our lives to those uniformed defenders of our safety, locked and sealed out of sight in the confines of the cockpit.
The pilots -- save for an incoming 'hello,' a mid-flight update and a departing 'Thank you' or 'Goodbye' -- remain as anonymous as the guy sitting next to you in seat 12B. Just another travel enigma.
We recently caught up with a captain for a major US carrier who has been a pilot for more than 15 years, flying commercially for eight years.
He was relaxing poolside on a hotel rooftop during an overnight stop between east coast hops.
Under the condition of anonymity, he agreed to dish on the industry and turbulent travel times in general.
Here's what Captain "No Name" had to say:
On Airport Security:
They (security officers) give us some leeway if we’re in uniform. We don’t have to put our gels in those little plastic baggies -- they’re not supposed to take them from us if we’re in uniform. And if I’m just traveling somewhere and don’t have my uniform on and just have my pilot ID, nine times out of ten they’ll let me through security with all my stuff. Then there’ll be one TSA guard who will take away my toothpaste -- it's the inconsistency that drives me crazy, and certain airports are stricter than others. I've been going through security lines long enough now that I don’t have the patience for it. I wear exactly the same thing every day -- the same belt, same shoes, same tie, everything -- and nine times out of ten I won’t buzz. But Kansas City, for instance, I can take everything out of my pockets, take off my belt and I’ll still buzz when I walk through security.
On Good Airports:
We end up with a lot of breaks in airports for two hours or more at a time, so I’m looking for an airport with stuff to do. Logan in Boston is a good one. It has good food, and it’s a brand new terminal there. Reagan National Airport in Washington, DC used to be good, but it's under construction now, so they don’t have as much food. Overall, Orlando is a good airport. It looks nice. It's a busy place, but they have plenty of security to get people through.
On Bad Airports:
I despise Kennedy (in New York). The international terminal, terminal four, is new and nice. But terminals two and three should be condemned. I was just talking to a flight attendant the other day, and she said there’s asbestos in the terminals, and sooner or later they’re going to condemn them. There are literally mice and pigeons living in the terminals. I've been in our pilot lounge on more than one occasion and a mouse will run across the floor. People who are up there all the time warn you not to leave any food in your flight bags -- they have problems with the mice chewing right through the leather to get to the little bags of peanuts. And with the pigeons, it's not like they’re a rare sight either - spend an hour at Kennedy, and you’ll likely see one or two pigeons fly across the terminal. It's a horrible airport.
On High-Maintenance Passengers:
The biggest high maintenance crowds fly between LaGuardia and West Palm Beach. I had a flight attendant call it the miracle flight once, because they pre-boarded something like 63 wheel chairs in New York, and it was a miracle because when they landed in West Palm only three passengers needed help getting off the plane -- they all just up and walked off themselves. It was the miracle flight, because everyone got cured on the way down there. In the cockpit we don’t real have to deal with passenger dramas like that, but every flight attendant I’ve ever met hates working that flight.
On Delays:
At airports like Kennedy and Newark, the average afternoon delays are two hours plus…no one can really figure it out. Of course, the passengers have this feeling like they’re being held hostage on the plane -- you've seen it on the news -- but if we leave and get out of line, we have to start all over again. At Kennedy, you can have a day where’s there’s not a cloud in the sky and you'll still have a three-hour takeoff. When you’re sitting in line in traffic for two hours and you can see the sunshine, people don’t understand -- but at the same time, we (the pilots) don’t understand either.
The problem is communication breakdown.
As pilots, we can only pass on the information we're given. I can call our dispatchers to try to get information, but the only info we can get is from the air traffic control tower, and they don’t really communicate. If you ask and try to get specific info, they bite your head off. So it comes to a point where we stop asking, because they just get mad. It’s my job to try to keep the passengers at ease, and when I don’t have a reason why we’re delayed, I try not to lie people. One thing I can do -- and it may not be the best thing -- is I tell the flight attendant to comp drinks. Give ‘em free liquor. Maybe that’s the wrong attitude, but if you serve anyone two free drinks they’ll loosen up and it will make the two-hour delay pass faster.
On Things That Go Bump in the Flight:
Sometimes there are lightening strikes -- I've gotten off the plane and seen singe marks on the wings, even if the passengers didn’t notice a thing. And last summer I had an engine failure, where the left engine just quit in flight. We had to make this emergency landing, and obviously people knew something was going on because we were descending. So I just told the passengers the truth, that the left engine had quit. I could have just said we were going to be landing elsewhere due to a problem with the aircraft - maybe I should have left out the detail of the engine. Sometimes, I look in the future now as captain, and I think honesty is a good thing, but I think certain details can be left out so people don’t freak out. Engine failure can be a scary thing, and some things are probably better left unsaid.
On Partying Amongst the Crew:
I don't think it's what it used to be. Our crew -- the pilots and the flight attendants -- all stay at the same hotel. But years ago, certain airlines segregated the pilots and flight attendants because there was too much partying going on. Rumor has it that some pilots’ wives organized it so pilots and flight attendants would be in separate hotels. A lot of the major airlines still do it. Now that I’m captain, I’m flying with younger guys, 25 year olds, and they’re all ready to go partying and drinking. But the airline doesn’t want us drinking within 12 hours of a flight, and they really make it so our job as a crew is to watch out for each other. Today, I'll sit out here by the pool, have lunch with the crew, go to a sports bar and watch football. And I should stop drinking by 6PM as I’m due at the airport at 5AM. There are people who abuse it -- I'm not saying they’d show up drunk for work, but they might push that 12-hour rule -- and a lot of them have gotten themselves fired. I try to adhere to it. I really love my job. I can’t imagine doing anything else.
http://information.travel.aol.com/ar...21192209990001
01-10-2008, 08:13 PM
#5
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Jan 2006
Position: Math Teacher
Posts: 2,273
If you click on the West Palm Beach link, a map appears. Where it says Clear Lake...just to the left of there is a small peninsular. I live on the middle street of that peninsular. It's called Clear Lake Avenue.
Look me up if you're ever overnighting. Drinks on me!!!
atp
Look me up if you're ever overnighting. Drinks on me!!!
atp
01-10-2008, 08:39 PM
#8
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Joined APC: Jan 2007
Position: CRJ2, ATR, CRJ7, E145, 737
Posts: 1,845
What makes it worse is the anti-mouse device we have in the Comair crew room in JFK...imagine sitting there for 6 hours on a ready reserve and hearing an incessant high pitched chirping....oooooooooooooooh wonderful.
01-11-2008, 03:58 AM
#9
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Joined APC: Feb 2007
Position: 1st year pay for the 3rd time
Posts: 1,434
Originally Posted by andy171773
What makes it worse is the anti-mouse device we have in the Comair crew room in JFK...imagine sitting there for 6 hours on a ready reserve and hearing an incessant high pitched chirping....oooooooooooooooh wonderful.
01-11-2008, 05:00 AM
#10
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Mar 2007
Position: Heavies
Posts: 1,414
Originally Posted by andy171773
What makes it worse is the anti-mouse device we have in the Comair crew room in JFK...imagine sitting there for 6 hours on a ready reserve and hearing an incessant high pitched chirping....oooooooooooooooh wonderful.
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