Living Large!
#11
Line Holder
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 753
Likes: 206
The year is 2093. Southwest has just reported a $12T Q3 loss. A Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes themed Southwest 737-700 closes its door prior to pushback at LAX. On board is a single 560 lb non-binary neurodivergent furry sitting in the very first seat, and a DAL bound pickle ball team made up of 10 HQ employees packed tightly around the fire exit row furiously posting selfies to Instagram and LinkedIn. A few are singing and dancing. Everyone pre-boarded. Unfortunately, these were the only tickets available for this flight due to a new “SafeSpace” campaign for “non-conforming” passengers. Financially the flight operates at a $98,000 loss. But the DEI champions across the globe rejoice for its progressiveness. The flight attendants are cattily disgusting the finer points of the ongoing Contract 2070 discussions that are still taking place. Captain advises it’ll be smooth the entire way. They opt to play it safe and remain seated. The captain apologizes to all 11 pax. The plane jerkily pushes back at 21:58 lcl , 1 hour and 8 minutes late.
#12
Gets Weekends Off
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 4,553
Likes: 396
This has been swa policy for around a decade. An influencer made a video about it and now Fox reported it in their daily outrage feed (gotta keep that blood pressure up). SWA flies the fattest people to the fattest places in the country. Some of our own pilots could probably use two seats. They tried going the hard line route and got canceled on social media by Kevin Smith before canceling someone was even a thing. This is their way to avoid all that.
#13
Gets Weekend Reserve
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 4,258
Likes: 240
From: B737CA
The year is 2093. Southwest has just reported a $12T Q3 loss. A Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes themed Southwest 737-700 closes its door prior to pushback at LAX. On board is a single 560 lb non-binary neurodivergent furry sitting in the very first seat, and a DAL bound pickle ball team made up of 10 HQ employees packed tightly around the fire exit row furiously posting selfies to Instagram and LinkedIn. A few are singing and dancing. Everyone pre-boarded. Unfortunately, these were the only tickets available for this flight due to a new “SafeSpace” campaign for “non-conforming” passengers. Financially the flight operates at a $98,000 loss. But the DEI champions across the globe rejoice for its progressiveness. The flight attendants are cattily disgusting the finer points of the ongoing Contract 2070 discussions that are still taking place. Captain advises it’ll be smooth the entire way. They opt to play it safe and remain seated. The captain apologizes to all 11 pax. The plane jerkily pushes back at 21:58 lcl , 1 hour and 8 minutes late.
Good!! I only need them to last another 2 decades.... they can go even woker and dumber after that for all I care.
#14
Gets Weekends Off
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,508
Likes: 109
The year is 2093. Southwest has just reported a $12T Q3 loss. A Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes themed Southwest 737-700 closes its door prior to pushback at LAX. On board is a single 560 lb non-binary neurodivergent furry sitting in the very first seat, and a DAL bound pickle ball team made up of 10 HQ employees packed tightly around the fire exit row furiously posting selfies to Instagram and LinkedIn. A few are singing and dancing. Everyone pre-boarded. Unfortunately, these were the only tickets available for this flight due to a new “SafeSpace” campaign for “non-conforming” passengers. Financially the flight operates at a $98,000 loss. But the DEI champions across the globe rejoice for its progressiveness. The flight attendants are cattily disgusting the finer points of the ongoing Contract 2070 discussions that are still taking place. Captain advises it’ll be smooth the entire way. They opt to play it safe and remain seated. The captain apologizes to all 11 pax. The plane jerkily pushes back at 21:58 lcl , 1 hour and 8 minutes late.
Cue the office space reference.
#16
or burn off that 322lbs before takeoff because you're over landing weight 4 hrs from now and you'll fly the exact route with the exact winds etc.
it's all a joke.
#17
Line Holder
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 843
Likes: 24
The year is 2093. Southwest has just reported a $12T Q3 loss. A Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes themed Southwest 737-700 closes its door prior to pushback at LAX. On board is a single 560 lb non-binary neurodivergent furry sitting in the very first seat, and a DAL bound pickle ball team made up of 10 HQ employees packed tightly around the fire exit row furiously posting selfies to Instagram and LinkedIn. A few are singing and dancing. Everyone pre-boarded. Unfortunately, these were the only tickets available for this flight due to a new “SafeSpace” campaign for “non-conforming” passengers. Financially the flight operates at a $98,000 loss. But the DEI champions across the globe rejoice for its progressiveness. The flight attendants are cattily disgusting the finer points of the ongoing Contract 2070 discussions that are still taking place. Captain advises it’ll be smooth the entire way. They opt to play it safe and remain seated. The captain apologizes to all 11 pax. The plane jerkily pushes back at 21:58 lcl , 1 hour and 8 minutes late.
#18
Gets Weekends Off
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 2,039
Likes: 252
From: A320 FO
Did you tell them you wouldn't be flying if they weren't making you?
#19
its all an average weight. since when has the FAA been concerned with exact weights? Except when you're overweight by 5 lbs then its definitely exact.
or burn off that 322lbs before takeoff because you're over landing weight 4 hrs from now and you'll fly the exact route with the exact winds etc.
it's all a joke.
or burn off that 322lbs before takeoff because you're over landing weight 4 hrs from now and you'll fly the exact route with the exact winds etc.
it's all a joke.
#20
The year is 2093. Southwest has just reported a $12T Q3 loss. A Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes themed Southwest 737-700 closes its door prior to pushback at LAX. On board is a single 560 lb non-binary neurodivergent furry sitting in the very first seat, and a DAL bound pickle ball team made up of 10 HQ employees packed tightly around the fire exit row furiously posting selfies to Instagram and LinkedIn. A few are singing and dancing. Everyone pre-boarded. Unfortunately, these were the only tickets available for this flight due to a new “SafeSpace” campaign for “non-conforming” passengers. Financially the flight operates at a $98,000 loss. But the DEI champions across the globe rejoice for its progressiveness. The flight attendants are cattily disgusting the finer points of the ongoing Contract 2070 discussions that are still taking place. Captain advises it’ll be smooth the entire way. They opt to play it safe and remain seated. The captain apologizes to all 11 pax. The plane jerkily pushes back at 21:58 lcl , 1 hour and 8 minutes late.
This is one of the funniest thing i've ever read on APC. Cheers to you sir.
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