Search

Notices

Living Large!

Thread Tools
 
Search this Thread
 
Old 12-13-2023 | 05:57 PM
  #11  
Line Holder
 
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 753
Likes: 206
Default

Originally Posted by dmcaso
The year is 2093. Southwest has just reported a $12T Q3 loss. A Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes themed Southwest 737-700 closes its door prior to pushback at LAX. On board is a single 560 lb non-binary neurodivergent furry sitting in the very first seat, and a DAL bound pickle ball team made up of 10 HQ employees packed tightly around the fire exit row furiously posting selfies to Instagram and LinkedIn. A few are singing and dancing. Everyone pre-boarded. Unfortunately, these were the only tickets available for this flight due to a new “SafeSpace” campaign for “non-conforming” passengers. Financially the flight operates at a $98,000 loss. But the DEI champions across the globe rejoice for its progressiveness. The flight attendants are cattily disgusting the finer points of the ongoing Contract 2070 discussions that are still taking place. Captain advises it’ll be smooth the entire way. They opt to play it safe and remain seated. The captain apologizes to all 11 pax. The plane jerkily pushes back at 21:58 lcl , 1 hour and 8 minutes late.
I’ve always found United repulsive and would never apply there. Sadly, I think we’ve lapped them.
Reply
Old 12-13-2023 | 06:01 PM
  #12  
Gets Weekends Off
 
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 4,553
Likes: 396
Default

Originally Posted by Traffic Alert
#gowokegobroke

im now worried about the long term viability of SWA. They can’t ever take this away.
This has been swa policy for around a decade. An influencer made a video about it and now Fox reported it in their daily outrage feed (gotta keep that blood pressure up). SWA flies the fattest people to the fattest places in the country. Some of our own pilots could probably use two seats. They tried going the hard line route and got canceled on social media by Kevin Smith before canceling someone was even a thing. This is their way to avoid all that.
Reply
Old 12-13-2023 | 06:06 PM
  #13  
Gets Weekend Reserve
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 4,258
Likes: 240
From: B737CA
Default

Originally Posted by dmcaso
The year is 2093. Southwest has just reported a $12T Q3 loss. A Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes themed Southwest 737-700 closes its door prior to pushback at LAX. On board is a single 560 lb non-binary neurodivergent furry sitting in the very first seat, and a DAL bound pickle ball team made up of 10 HQ employees packed tightly around the fire exit row furiously posting selfies to Instagram and LinkedIn. A few are singing and dancing. Everyone pre-boarded. Unfortunately, these were the only tickets available for this flight due to a new “SafeSpace” campaign for “non-conforming” passengers. Financially the flight operates at a $98,000 loss. But the DEI champions across the globe rejoice for its progressiveness. The flight attendants are cattily disgusting the finer points of the ongoing Contract 2070 discussions that are still taking place. Captain advises it’ll be smooth the entire way. They opt to play it safe and remain seated. The captain apologizes to all 11 pax. The plane jerkily pushes back at 21:58 lcl , 1 hour and 8 minutes late.

Good!! I only need them to last another 2 decades.... they can go even woker and dumber after that for all I care.
Reply
Old 12-14-2023 | 01:14 AM
  #14  
Gets Weekends Off
 
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,508
Likes: 109
Default

Originally Posted by dmcaso
The year is 2093. Southwest has just reported a $12T Q3 loss. A Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes themed Southwest 737-700 closes its door prior to pushback at LAX. On board is a single 560 lb non-binary neurodivergent furry sitting in the very first seat, and a DAL bound pickle ball team made up of 10 HQ employees packed tightly around the fire exit row furiously posting selfies to Instagram and LinkedIn. A few are singing and dancing. Everyone pre-boarded. Unfortunately, these were the only tickets available for this flight due to a new “SafeSpace” campaign for “non-conforming” passengers. Financially the flight operates at a $98,000 loss. But the DEI champions across the globe rejoice for its progressiveness. The flight attendants are cattily disgusting the finer points of the ongoing Contract 2070 discussions that are still taking place. Captain advises it’ll be smooth the entire way. They opt to play it safe and remain seated. The captain apologizes to all 11 pax. The plane jerkily pushes back at 21:58 lcl , 1 hour and 8 minutes late.
2093? That’s some solid job security for at least another generation of pilots!

Cue the office space reference.
Reply
Old 12-14-2023 | 04:49 AM
  #15  
Line Holder
 
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 293
Likes: 13
Default

Has the FAA developed pax weights for the “super fat” or do you manually input them in the w&b?
Reply
Old 12-14-2023 | 05:39 AM
  #16  
hoover's Avatar
At your mom's house
 
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,674
Likes: 449
From: cpt 737
Default

Originally Posted by OscarRomeo
Has the FAA developed pax weights for the “super fat” or do you manually input them in the w&b?
its all an average weight. since when has the FAA been concerned with exact weights? Except when you're overweight by 5 lbs then its definitely exact.
or burn off that 322lbs before takeoff because you're over landing weight 4 hrs from now and you'll fly the exact route with the exact winds etc.
it's all a joke.
Reply
Old 12-14-2023 | 07:10 AM
  #17  
Line Holder
 
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 843
Likes: 24
Default

Originally Posted by dmcaso
The year is 2093. Southwest has just reported a $12T Q3 loss. A Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes themed Southwest 737-700 closes its door prior to pushback at LAX. On board is a single 560 lb non-binary neurodivergent furry sitting in the very first seat, and a DAL bound pickle ball team made up of 10 HQ employees packed tightly around the fire exit row furiously posting selfies to Instagram and LinkedIn. A few are singing and dancing. Everyone pre-boarded. Unfortunately, these were the only tickets available for this flight due to a new “SafeSpace” campaign for “non-conforming” passengers. Financially the flight operates at a $98,000 loss. But the DEI champions across the globe rejoice for its progressiveness. The flight attendants are cattily disgusting the finer points of the ongoing Contract 2070 discussions that are still taking place. Captain advises it’ll be smooth the entire way. They opt to play it safe and remain seated. The captain apologizes to all 11 pax. The plane jerkily pushes back at 21:58 lcl , 1 hour and 8 minutes late.
Ok, you win.
Reply
Old 12-14-2023 | 07:15 AM
  #18  
Gets Weekends Off
 
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 2,039
Likes: 252
From: A320 FO
Default

Originally Posted by CX500T
When i was often being flown around for work at a previous non 121 job, travel people "YOU WOULDN'T BUY FIRST CLASS IF YOU WERE PAYING"

"No, but I'm 6'5". I will gladly pay for exit row or early boarding to get one on SWA"
Did you tell them you wouldn't be flying if they weren't making you?
Reply
Old 12-14-2023 | 07:31 AM
  #19  
mulcher's Avatar
gets time off
 
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,512
Likes: 93
Default

Originally Posted by hoover
its all an average weight. since when has the FAA been concerned with exact weights? Except when you're overweight by 5 lbs then its definitely exact.
or burn off that 322lbs before takeoff because you're over landing weight 4 hrs from now and you'll fly the exact route with the exact winds etc.
it's all a joke.
Or you move the carryon to checked bag. It weighs more checked.
Reply
Old 12-14-2023 | 09:00 AM
  #20  
flyer138's Avatar
Fly me to the Moon
500k Airline Miles
5 Years
On Reserve
 
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 144
Likes: 13
Default

Originally Posted by dmcaso
The year is 2093. Southwest has just reported a $12T Q3 loss. A Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes themed Southwest 737-700 closes its door prior to pushback at LAX. On board is a single 560 lb non-binary neurodivergent furry sitting in the very first seat, and a DAL bound pickle ball team made up of 10 HQ employees packed tightly around the fire exit row furiously posting selfies to Instagram and LinkedIn. A few are singing and dancing. Everyone pre-boarded. Unfortunately, these were the only tickets available for this flight due to a new “SafeSpace” campaign for “non-conforming” passengers. Financially the flight operates at a $98,000 loss. But the DEI champions across the globe rejoice for its progressiveness. The flight attendants are cattily disgusting the finer points of the ongoing Contract 2070 discussions that are still taking place. Captain advises it’ll be smooth the entire way. They opt to play it safe and remain seated. The captain apologizes to all 11 pax. The plane jerkily pushes back at 21:58 lcl , 1 hour and 8 minutes late.

This is one of the funniest thing i've ever read on APC. Cheers to you sir.

F138-
Reply
Related Topics
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
AirBear
Part 91 and Low Time
3
11-12-2019 09:34 AM
DLpilot
Major
37
06-27-2012 07:48 PM
TipTip35
Cargo
21
04-01-2009 03:10 AM
Freight Dog
Foreign
164
02-15-2007 10:46 AM
Paddles
Cargo
82
12-11-2006 05:03 AM

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



Your Privacy Choices