Living Large!
12-14-2023 | 09:44 AM
#21
On Reserve
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 71
Likes: 7
The year is 2093. Southwest has just reported a $12T Q3 loss. A Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes themed Southwest 737-700 closes its door prior to pushback at LAX. On board is a single 560 lb non-binary neurodivergent furry sitting in the very first seat, and a DAL bound pickle ball team made up of 10 HQ employees packed tightly around the fire exit row furiously posting selfies to Instagram and LinkedIn. A few are singing and dancing. Everyone pre-boarded. Unfortunately, these were the only tickets available for this flight due to a new “SafeSpace” campaign for “non-conforming” passengers. Financially the flight operates at a $98,000 loss. But the DEI champions across the globe rejoice for its progressiveness. The flight attendants are cattily disgusting the finer points of the ongoing Contract 2070 discussions that are still taking place. Captain advises it’ll be smooth the entire way. They opt to play it safe and remain seated. The captain apologizes to all 11 pax. The plane jerkily pushes back at 21:58 lcl , 1 hour and 8 minutes late.
Literally the best post on the entire internet.
12-15-2023 | 12:54 PM
#22
On Reserve
Joined: Jan 2023
Posts: 18
Likes: 0
12-16-2023 | 01:27 AM
#26
Line Holder
Joined: Aug 2020
Posts: 331
Likes: 37
From: Picking up the Forta Magnus clearance from Melnix.
WARNING!!!!
I almost choked!
Thank you sir!!! That is some funny stuff.
12-16-2023 | 07:18 AM
#28
Line Holder
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 997
Likes: 68
Could go two ways, a fat guy could save the company utlizing a unique sales stragegy or we could all end up living in a van down by the river. Of course #vanlife is cool with the SNAPs so maybe grumpy old Captians pining for the good old days (2003-2006 when SWA was the hottest girl at the dance) will finally connect with the kids these days.
12-16-2023 | 01:39 PM
#29
Gets Weekends Off
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 2,030
Likes: 0
12-16-2023 | 04:24 PM
#30
Gets Weekends Off
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 4,553
Likes: 397
Again, this has been the policy at SWA for a very long time, going back to their most profitable years. It's only new and cool because Fox News caught wind of it and did a story the other day after some lame TikToker made a video on it who already had a target on her back after suggesting other airlines do the same previously. The conservative outrage media then ran with it to get some clicks and likes and keep you guys coming back for your serotonin feedback hit.
I am quite sure that the accountants in charge at SWA made a decision based on the calculus of how many seats they would eat (pun intended) vs the bad press from another Kevin Smith situation. Funny how being overweight just got political, but that's the world we are living in today. Plenty of anti-woke warriors take advantage of this generous policy, I assure you. The stupid jokes about "identifying as overweight" are dumb. Not because I am offended, I could literally care less, they are just bad jokes. Try harder.
I am quite sure that the accountants in charge at SWA made a decision based on the calculus of how many seats they would eat (pun intended) vs the bad press from another Kevin Smith situation. Funny how being overweight just got political, but that's the world we are living in today. Plenty of anti-woke warriors take advantage of this generous policy, I assure you. The stupid jokes about "identifying as overweight" are dumb. Not because I am offended, I could literally care less, they are just bad jokes. Try harder.
Last edited by e6bpilot; 12-16-2023 at 04:49 PM.
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