This is so strange. I guess we needed to make it both idiot proof and pig-headed proof.

 

"How to Wear Your Wings"
Act 1 Scene 1
Setting: IAH CPO
Backdrop: Pilots sitting in 20 year old musty Lazy-Boy couches watching Fox News.
(Casting Director Note: Find the fattest pilots available for the extras.)
(Wardrobe Note: Make sure all are in full uniform, including hats, but no ALPA pins. Barbecue stains on the shirts of the 3 fattest extras)

IAH Intern: "Hey the Chief Pilot wants to see you in his office."
Pilot: "I am in the 'Chief Pilots Office'." (Makes quotation marks symbols with his fingers and gestures around Flight Operations)
(Gets up and follows Intern anyway)

Act 1 Scene 2
Setting: IAH Chief Pilots Office (Yes, his actual 10x10 office, i.e. not Flight Operations)
(Set Design Note: As much Legacy Continental paraphernalia that can be found should be in his office)

CP: (abruptly) "You are out of uniform."
Pilot: "No I'm not."
CP: "Those wings are not the correct wings."
Pilot: (Opens up company iPad) "FOM. Uniform. Pilots shall wear the United issued wings." (Turns off iPad starts to walk out of office)
CP: (Angrily) "THOSE are not the most recently issues wings!"
(Camera pan to CP desk and walls showing plaques, statues, and pictures of Legacy Continental Wings)
Pilot: "The FOM doesn't say anything about "most recent" wings. (makes quotation mark gestures with hands).
It only says "United issued" wings. (makes gestures again with hands)
United issued me these wings. Have a nice day." (Smiles, turns and walks out of the office)

Fade to credits. Rhapsody in Blue playing in background.

 

Classic!!!

😀😀😀

 

Strangely, many of the repeat customers I have on reserve seem to wear legacy wings.

 

And the results are clear that the neither the iPad or we are nimble enough to handle the myriad of functions (JeppFD-Pro, WOM, QRG, etc.) and time critical QRH/electronic checklist non-normal/EPs on one glitchy and battery-limited screen.

We don't, but each pilot has to have quick access to one during certain scenarios like rejects, pilot incapacitation, smoke and fumes, etc. And the cost of printing two QRHs compared to the benefit could not be more insignificant.

 

Was in the IAH Chief's office yesterday having a nice chat. She has some very nice Tulip'd memorabilia.

 

I'm sure I could work out a very similar scenario for DENTK or the SFO FPA but I digress.

Still can't fathom why anyone would wear any portion of their old uniform except for possible brain damage and/or living in a bygone era that really wasn't as great as you remember it. I'm not just picking on the unitards wearing old UAL items but also the CAL types who have somehow convinced themselves that our former airline was nothing but the cats meow.

It's over people, we have merged and nothing that you say or wear will change that including age old, lame-ass legacy bling.

 

Can't hear you.....try hot mic

 

+1000 my friend.

 

Ah the last ditch effort of a wounded snowflake. Insults instead of dialogue yet so very predictable.