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Chuck Norris: Rules To Fly By... Chuck Norris: Rules To Fly By...
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Old 10-31-2008, 12:58 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Position: CRJ700 FO
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Default Chuck Norris: Rules To Fly By...
Consider Yourself Warned

Chuck Norris never states his intentions, he states his demands.

Chuck Norris is the only person ever to land on runway 37.

Hijackers squawk 7500 when Chuck Norris is on board

When Chuck Norris flies, the altimeter setting is 00.00. Chuck Norris is
never under pressure

Chuck Norris once moved a stationary front.

When Chuck Norris taxies onto the runway, incoming traffic is told to
hold short

Chuck Norris never "loses" altitude, he simply gets rid of it when he no
longer has any use for it.

Chuck Norris was once denied a clearance...once!

Chuck Norris has never landed with a crosswind. The wind would never
dare get cross with Chuck Norris.


Chuck Norris isn't holding, he is circling above his victims.

When told to break at the numbers, Chuck Norris politely reminded the
controller that Chuck Norris cannot be broken and proceeded with the
straight in.

Chuck Norris doesn't shoot approaches...he kills them.

Chuck Norris is never off of glideslope, the glideslope is off of Chuck
Norris

Chuck Norris doesn't need crew rest...he never sleeps.

Chuck Norris is never given the instructions "when able" . Chuck Norris
is never unable to do anything.

Favorable winds are always in the same direction as Chuck Norris' flight
path

A permanent TFR surrounds Chuck Norris...no one is safe.

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Old 10-31-2008, 01:17 PM   #2 (permalink)
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haha, that made for a good laugh
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Old 10-31-2008, 01:58 PM   #3 (permalink)
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my favorite one (not flight related):
chuck norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
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Old 10-31-2008, 02:00 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Jesus may have walked on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.
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Old 10-31-2008, 02:05 PM   #5 (permalink)
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- Chuck Norris doesn't get vectored to Final...Final gets vectored to Chuck Norris.


- When he goes for a swim, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet...the water gets Chuck Norris'ed.
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Old 10-31-2008, 02:32 PM   #6 (permalink)
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just imagine if chuck norris and tyler wojo worked a flight together...it would be nothing should of legendary...
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Old 10-31-2008, 02:57 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Chuck Norris has never flown any position but captain, and he`s number one on the senority list.....of every airline, domestic or foreign.
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Old 10-31-2008, 03:10 PM   #8 (permalink)
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James Cameron originally wanted to use Chuck Norris as the role of the Terminator instead of Arnold, but then he realized that would just turn his movie into a documentry.
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Old 10-31-2008, 03:18 PM   #9 (permalink)
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If Chuck Norris is doing VFR, you can expect just that. Very Firm Roundhouses.
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Old 10-31-2008, 03:20 PM   #10 (permalink)
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When Chuck Norris pees, he clogs the toilet...
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