Originally Posted by Castle Bravo

"Hey, you're working SOF tomorrow night."
"Hey, you've got the midnight shift all week for this exercise."
"Hey, where are you slides for the staff mtg?"
"Hey, Boss wants you to be pro-jo for the spouses charity auction next month."
"Hey, also, Boss wants you to get some face time with General Pot Belly next week; go to Protocol and build the itinerary."
"Hey sir, scheduling here, Boss says you're on probation because you didn't fly enough non-precisions last month." <But I was TDY to a conference!>
"Hey, you're overdue on your Trafficking In Humans Computer Based Trng, so your Leave in cancelled until that's done."
"Hey, how come you didn't submit any Amn of the Month award packages on your troops?" <But I was TDY to a conference!>
"Are you going to the NCO Induction banquet Tuesday night? You were a no-show last month..."
"Hey, I know it's not likely, but just in case we get tasked, can you look at 3 different Courses of Actions and brief them to the Boss?"
"Hey, don't forget your Kevlar and Helmet for the nightly rocket and mortar attacks. But make sure your Reflective belt is on too."

If I'm lying, I'm dying...