ptarmigan

It looks to me that John Gottman may have nailed our situation, although he was talking about a marriage/relationship, this applies to our relationship with management. They do not realize how far gone the situation is, and the "four horsemen" are the features that show that the relationship is doomed or close to it. We are like the marriage partner that has just had it, and there is nothing the CURRENT team can do to change it. It is too little too late:

John Gottman’s FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE

1. Criticism:
Attacking your partner’s personality or character, usually with the intent of making
someone right and someone wrong:
Generalizations: “you always…” “you never…”“you’re the type of person who …” “why
are you so …”

2. Contempt:
Attacking your partner’s sense of self with the intention to insult or psychologically
abuse him/her:
- Insults and name-calling: “*****, bastard, wimp, fat, stupid, ugly, slob, lazy…”
- Hostile humor, sarcasm or mockery
- Body language & tone of voice: sneering, rolling your eyes, curling your upper lip

3. Defensiveness:
Seeing self as the victim, warding off a perceived attack:
- Making excuses (e.g., external circumstances beyond your control forced you to act in
a certain way) “It’s not my fault…”, “I didn’t…”
- Cross-complaining: meeting your partner’s complaint, or criticism with a complaint of
your own, ignoring what your partner said
- Disagreeing and then cross-complaining “That’s not true, you’re the one who …” “I did
this because you did that…”
- Yes-butting: start off agreeing but end up disagreeing
- Repeating yourself without paying attention to what the other person is saying
- Whining “It’s not fair.”

4. Stonewalling:
Withdrawing from the relationship as a way to avoid conflict. Partners may think they
are trying to be “neutral” but stonewalling conveys disapproval, icy distance, separation,
disconnection, and/or smugness:
- Stony silence
- Monosyllabic mutterings
- Changing the subject
- Removing yourself physically
- Silent Treatment

gderek

So true! Having read Gottman's book and using it in my own marriage, I couldn't agree more. Unfortunately, based on the lack of SA of these "contract admin" folks they're not sophisticated enough to understand it!

Gofly

Gunter

Using the Just Culture model, certain managers have gone from At Risk to Reckless Behavior.

Do they really want labor to be unhappy? Where can this showdown lead? Management has been quoted relatively recently as valuing a good relationship with us.

No one wants their John Hancock on this effort as it may end up Mooking them.

MaydayMark

I've had this exact same thought for many years ... I can make the freight late and burn TONS of extra gas each and every leg. Why wouldn't management want me on their team?

It seems like Management would need to know their operating costs and postponing, postponing, postponing would be self defeating?